The Summer of Equis

overheard

2011-08-06T17:45:00.000-07:00

if you want to know what sort of day we had, here's a few things you would have overheard be said at our house today:

"the lawnmower just ran of out of gas"
"the coffee spilled over"
"she won't stop screaming" (talking about julia belén, not me)
"did you remember to drop off my library book?" (no)
"do you think it needs stitches?"
"your computer is not ready" (after driving half an hour in traffic to get there when they told me yesterday it would be done)
"you know that will take over an hour to cook" (said at 6:30 about a pork loin we were going to have for dinner)
"the propane tank (for the grill) just ran out"
"i think the cheese is burning"
"will the paper catch on fire?"
"do you need to throw up?"

and we haven't even started baths and bedtime for the kids yet. it is 8:45.

lovely day.

i watched him fall

2011-08-02T12:51:00.000-07:00

antonio is 4 years old. he is not a toddler anymore, he's a little boy. a fact that i have to remind myself of everyday. he's always been on the small side, and he's a little behind in his motor development. the result, i don't push him much when it comes to doing "big boy" things.

my poor son, he has a mother that, when he wants to jump in the pool, she worries about him hitting his head and suffering a spinal cord injury. or that when he is on his new swing set, he'll fall and break a bone or suffer a head injury. yes, i really have these fears every time he's out there. maybe it's that he's my firstborn and i'm overprotective. maybe it's that, as a pediatric physical therapist, day in and day out i've worked with kids to which those sorts of things have happened. most likely, it's a combination of both.

but as antonio keeps growing and making friends with other boys a lot of his friends are girls since "cousin jesse" moved away, until recently), i see how he struggles to keep up with them. he's the only one of his "posse" that wears a floatie at the pool. he doesn't jump on the trampoline. he doesn't take risks.

yesterday, as he played with his friends, he saw them go across the monkey bars in the backyard. i've told him before he's not allowed to go on the monkey bars unless an adult is nearby. but not wanting to be left behind, he climbed on up. i was standing in the kitchen watching, and realized there was no one close to catch him.

instead of running out, i just watched. he grabbed onto the bars and hung for a moment. then he reached for the next rung and got a hold. i was shocked, thinking he had hung on much longer than i would have given him credit for and that he might actually be able to get across. but then one hand slipped, and then the other. down he went.

instead of running out, i just watched. waited. he got up fairly quickly so i figured no broken bones since he wasn't screaming hysterically. as he slowly made his way over, i noticed he was a little teary-eyed. apparently, he got the wind knocked out of him when he fell. but other than that, he was okay.

but as i went to bed last night, i actually cried over what happened. i cried because he fell, and i pretty much let him. i cried because i felt bad for him that he didn't get across. what if i've been wrong this whole time? what if i should have been letting him be a little more daring? i kept having visions of the nerdy kid in the movie "little giants" who wore all the padding. it's not like he was jumping from a fence, over a net, and onto a trampoline. he's just been wanting to do the monkey bars. did he not get across the monkey bars because he's just a bit smaller and a bit younger? or did he not get across because i told him he couldn't? i don't know the answer to that question, but it will definitely have me think twice before i tell him he can't do something.

between antonio and myself, i don't know who learned a bigger lesson. maybe we both did.

Alfajores

2011-05-31T20:11:00.000-07:00

I never thought I'd say that I'd have a revelation about my faith while baking. But that's exactly what happened while making alfajores a few weeks ago.

Alfajores are incredibly delicious little Peruvian cookies. They are basically a shortbread type cookie with a cooked caramel type filling. I say "type" as I had to swear not to divulge the contents of this family recipe.

Alfajores are special occasion cookies. I cannot remember a Baptism, First Holy Communion, graduation, Easter, or any other holiday with my family without these little cookies. I sometimes call them a labor of love, as they do require some effort to make. The complete opposite of slice 'n bake cookies so readily available these days. While making my most recent batch, I realized how much one could learn from alfajores and thought I would share my revelations.

The filling.

It takes a few hours to make. And it's not the kind of few hours where you can set it to go and just walk away. This is no slow cooker filling. It requires vigilance to ensure it doesn't burn. Just as our prayer life needs vigilance. We can't just check in on Sundays. We need to be mindful of our thoughts, words, and actions at all times. And there are consequences if we get lazy about it. After the filling has cooked, you still never know for sure what you're gonna get. You only hope that once it's cool, that it's the right consistency. That you won't end up with a runny, goopy mess. But you just have to have faith. As in real life, one has to have faith in those moments where we have trouble seeing God's plan for us. But just follow His recipe, and you will be rewarded.

The cookie.

Firstly, you cannot substitute ingredients or methods. You just can't. I've tried and/or forgotten and the cookie just doesn't come out the right way. It's not the right texture, doesn't have the right taste. It's just not the same. You can't skip praying. You can't skip the Sacraments. As someone who only started praying the Rosary on a regular basis in the past year, I can tell you the days I skip a day are not the same. I can tell the difference.

While mixing the cookie dough, I start second guessing if I've measured stuff correctly. That the recipe just can't be right, it needs more this, or it needs more that. Every time. I've been making these cookies for years and EVERY time I make them I think to myself that it can't be right. How many times in life do you think that to yourself? That this can't be God's plan. That He must be wrong or doesn't know what He's doing. You question and doubt Him. But just in the same way that the cookie dough comes together in an almost magical way, just at the point you want to give up and add more flour, in life, God grants us a little extra grace to help us understand. He grants us wisdom. He grants us peace. Working full time this year has been very, very difficult for me and for my family. We all felt the side effects, consequences, whatever you want to call it. The first half of the year was difficult enough leaving 2 little ones. I absolutely dreaded going back when it was 3 kids after my maternity leave was over in March. Just like the cookies, I couldn't see how it would come together. But my first day back, the Lord gave me such a gift, an opportunity to see why I was needed outside of my home at this point in my life. The students I work with did a presentation showcasing their abilities and how exceptional they truly are, and instead of tears of sadness over missing my own children, I cried tears of joy and gratitude.

So when things get tough, and seem futile, just hang in there a little longer. Stay on His path. Knead the dough a little longer and it will all come together.

$40 a week

2011-05-17T20:18:00.000-07:00

many friends on facebook often post their couponing steals. mounds of food for sometimes only mere pennies. it's very tempting. almost makes me want to give couponing another chance, taking it more seriously this time.

almost.

my attempts at couponing usually resulted in frustration and wasted time. i would spend all this time finding coupons just to find a better deal on a different brand when i got to the store. and for most of the stuff on my grocery list, there were never coupons anyways.

so i quit. don't get me wrong. i don't think there is anything wrong with clipping coupons and i am excited for my friends to save money and find great deals. it's just not for me. i admit, i can get lazy, and clipping coupon just seems like too much work. i'd rather knit or sew in the evenings than clip coupons.

at the same time, i can still feed my family of 4 (technically 5, but martín doesn't eat solids yet) for as little as $40 a week. $40 a week. that's often less than what people spend with all their couponing. and i still manage to avoid most of the prepackaged and highly process foods for which coupons are so often readily available (i say most because i do keep chicken nuggets, hot dogs, and macaroni and cheese on hand in case of "emergencies"). we include a lot of whole foods that are actually often higher in price (like organic yogurt, raw milk, and farm fresh eggs). it's all about restructuring how you eat.

here's how we do it (sometimes i think i could start a whole other blog for this, but these are the basics):
- use cash for groceries. even if you end up going over in the beginning, it really challenges you to stay within the budget.
- plan a menu and write it down. take inventory of what you have in the house and plan your menu based off that. you would probaby be shocked at how much food you actually have in your house.
- cook from scratch. fresh, whole, raw ingredients.
- cook once, eat twice. don't be afraid of leftovers. sometimes we plan to eat leftovers the same week, sometimes i freeze it to eat another time. or plan multiple meals using the same protein as it can save you money(such as when chicken is buy one get one free)
- eat less meat. we sometimes share a large chicken breast between the 4 of us, filling in with extra veggies and grains.
- whole grains. make up for less meat with whole wheat pastas and brown rice. i vowed never to switch to brown rice, but i finally gave in when even my closest ally in my devotion to white rice (my dad) made the switch (except for cuban black beans. it would be blasphemous not to eat those with white rice). quinoa is another great source of protein.
- make more of the basics instead of buying them: bread, jam, waffles, stock, spaghetti sauce, biscuits, tortillas, etc. makes batches of them at one time and freeze/can the excess for future use.
- chicken on the bone. it's always on sale and much more versatile.
- buy in season. we are looking forward to the start of the farmer's market so we can get fresh, local produce for the rest of the summer.
- start a garden. andrés has quite a vegetable garden going. i never have to buy fresh herbs. i haven't had to buy lettuce for our salads this spring. not to mention, the kids LOVE vegetable gardening.

this week i spent $40 on groceries and this is our menu:
garlic chicken with asparagus and toasted quinoa, spinach stuffed shells, chicken enchiladas with avocado-quinoa salad, broccoli pesto pasta, chicken fried rice, and minestrone with a garden salad.

yes, our meals are a little bit more humble than when it was just andres and i. and my son did tell me he was sad that i did not buy donuts this week (i do make donuts but i hate how they make the house smell like a deep fryer so i sometimes get them on clearance). but i am hoping my children are learning the value of getting by with a little less, even if it means having to work a little harder.

peeps be with you

2011-05-01T12:41:00.000-07:00

as antonio has gotten older, i've loved watching how he participates more in the Mass.

he sings the alleluia. he kneels during the consecration. he shakes hands with people around us during the sign of peace.

the one part we still struggle with is the liturgy of the word. we cannot get him to sit still. even printing out the www.catholicmom.com coloring page for the week, so that he has a coloring page pertaining to the gospe reading, he prefers to turn over the page and draw rocket ships on the blank side.

until today.

i couldn't believe how well he was paying attention during fr. zahuta's homily. as father spoke about jesus wishing us to find peace within us, antonio sat and listened. i was so proud.

and then, 5 minutes later, antonio turns to andrés with a smile, and asked if fr. zahuta was talking about peeps. as in marshmallow peeps.

A fairytale wedding

2011-04-29T07:19:00.000-07:00

I am not one of those people that have been counting down the days to the royal wedding today. I had no intention to set my alarm for 3 AM to get up and watch it. I just wasn't interested.

Don't get me wrong. I am very happy for the royal couple and wish that they live happily ever after. I just don't need to hear about it.

But I have a confession. I turned on the TV this morning to let the kids watch Curious George while I got things ready to leave for work only to find coverage of the wedding. It was just the tail end of the wedding, watching the couple process out of Westminester Abbey.

I was going to change the channel (Antonio was begging, in fact), but I noticed my sweet little girl sitting next to me on the couch as I nursed the baby, watching every second of it. She didn't miss a thing. Finally, I turned to Julia Belen and said, "she's a real princess". And she just gave a wide-eyed smile.

While I didn't get caught up in the hype over the royal wedding, I am so glad I was able to share those moments with my daughter. And maybe she'll start dreaming of a fairytale wedding of her own.

be consoled

2010-12-12T06:10:00.000-08:00

today, i am 38 weeks and 6 days pregnant. tomorrow, i will be 39 weeks pregnant. antonio was born at 38 weeks, 6 days. i went into labor at 39 weeks with julia belén.

i won't lie, i was nervous at this point with the other 2. the unknown of it all. but i felt more "prepared". i felt ready earlier this week, i would have said the same about this baby. but last night, i couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. fear, anxiety, loneliness, exhaustion. so many reasons filled my mind as to why i suddenly panicked at the thought of going into labor.

i feel like some days i struggle to manage my 3.5 and 2 year old. how could i possibly add a newborn to the mix? working full time this year with the 2 kids has been hard enough. how could i possibly go back to work with 3? just the logistics of getting them all out the door on time. i get overwhelmed just thinking about it. how can i handle 3 kids 3 and under with family so far away. the distance only seems to grow further and further with each baby, each illness, each "event". it's hard not to feel lonely and left out.

but then this morning, i was blessed to read the words of our lady of guadalupe. our lady of guadalupe appeared as an aztec princess to the humble juan diego in 1531. today is her feast day:

"Hear and let it penetrate your heart, my dear.

Let nothing discourage you, nothing depress you,

Let nothing alter your heart or your countenance.

Do not fear any illness or vexation, anxiety, or pain.

Am I not here, your Mother?

Are you not under my shadow and protection?

Am I not your fountain of life?

Are you not in the folds of my mantle,

In the crossing of my arms?

Is there anything else that you need?"

tears streamed down my face for a different reason this morning. these words, so very true. really, what else do i need? how can i ask for anything more? look who is on my side!

while we won't get to share arrival of our third child with as many loved ones as we would have liked, we are never alone. these words will be close to my heart for the remainder of my pregnancy (however long/short it might me), labor, and days and years to come.

(almost) full term Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T19:25:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, on Thanksgiving day, I will be 36 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Just a few days short of being officially full-term. At this point, they won't do anything to stop the baby from coming should I go into labor. Not that there are any signs of that happening, just kind of a crazy thought. With it being so close to our due date, we are staying home for Thanksgiving. Though we will miss our family, we are looking forward to a few quiet and restful days at home with the kids.

But back to the big turkey day. I am hosting dinner at my house this year. You don't have to know me well to know I love to cook, and it's usually from scratch. Which is why I feel a *little* guilty about our Thanksgiving menu. I had to compromise. Fortunately, we have great friends joining us for dinner and will be sharing a lot of the cooking. But what is the almost full term pregnant woman making for dinner? Here's my cheater's menu:

- Turkey: No way around making a turkey. Brine it and roast it. Super easy.

- Orange-cranberry relish: Probably the easiest thing to make on the menu. God bless the food processor.

- Green bean casserole: Yep, the super traditional version where you basically empty cans into a casserole dish. God bless my husband for actually requesting it vs. a more "from scratch" recipe.

- Mashed baked: It was with a heavy heart that I decided mashed potatoes from scratch might be more work than I wanted this year. It just feels wrong not to have them. And a heavy, cholesterol laden, heart is what we'll get with this super yummy Paula Dean recipe with all it's butter, sour cream, cheese, cream cheese, and boxed mashed potato mix goodness.

- Brussel sprouts: The one thing I'm making tomorrow that will require spending some time in the kitchen. But my husband loves them.

- Dinner rolls: Alright, I admit I did make these completely from scratch.

- Apple pie: Homemade filling made from local apples. But, (gasp!), store bought crust.

So there it is. My semi-homemade Thanksgiving menu. In the end, it won't matter how fancy dinner was or how much I "cheated". It's a day about giving thanks for the things we have, counting our blessings, and enjoying the company of good friends and family.

the great outdoors

2010-11-01T19:13:00.000-07:00

we went on a family camping trip with some good friends over columbus day weekend. the site andres found was a hike in campsite. i confess, at 29 weeks pregnant, i was not thrilled about being more than stone's throw from a bathroom. but i was also worried about how the kids would do, how would their short little legs hold up.

little julia belén has always been more of the adventurer. aside from getting tired, i wasn't worried about her being fearful. but my antonio has always been much more timid. shy on the playground, hesitant to go down the slides or on the swings without coaxing. ironic as it is, my son's gross motor skills are not his strong suit.

which is why it was such a delight to see my little trailblazer take on the trails without hesitation. he just hiked right on in, completely ignoring any briars he brushed up against or the roots that created constant trip hazards. it was as if he found his niche. so at ease being out in the great outdoors. not afraid of getting dirty, piling up mounds of dirt to make "cake" and singing happy birthday. using his imagination as he found different ways to play with sticks and rocks. there was no fear, no anxiety. just a little boy being a little boy. adventurous, mischievous, unafraid.

cravings or His plans?

2010-09-17T21:29:00.000-07:00

i'll clear any confusion by starting off saying that i was not injured in a car accident this afternoon. i made it safely home, though quite shaken by the events of the drive.

my friday commute home involves driving on 2 major atlanta highways, 285 and 85. at 2:15ish on a friday, there is a good amount of volume and most cars go well over the 55 mph speed limit. after i left work, i had to run an errand that was actually about 30 minutes in the opposite direction from the house. a kind friend is letting us borrow some great baby gear and i had promised i would pick it up today. while on the way to her house, i decided that i absolutely had to have a frosty float. i just had to. so after picking up the gear, i went through the drive thru at the next wendy's i passed, happy to have my craving satisfied.

so i'm driving along 285. the radio is on, but i'm not on the phone. just looking forward to picking up the kids for our new tradition of "froyo fridays". about 2 miles from spaghetti junction (a huge interchange where i would have switched highways), i suddenly noticed 2 cars driving erratically. and very close to each other. at first i thought it was just a near accident. maybe one car had almost merged into the other. but as i slowed a little and continued to watch, i noticed the green SUV was purposely chasing the white sedan. reckless and aggressive are understatements in describing what i was witnessing. by this point, i had just stopped. so had the rest of traffic around me, as we all watched and waited for the chase to end. one or both cars would inevitably crash and be forced to stop.

that was only half the case. the green SUV did succeed in hitting the white sedan, causing the sedan to spin. but i noticed that neither car was stopping. it was at this point i started to panic. after all, they weren't very far in front of me. less than 50 yards. i just kept repeating "please stop, please stop, make it stop".

but it didn't. the white sedan got control and apparently decided its best chance for escape was to drive in the opposite direction on the highway.

right. towards. me.

the 2 cars were literally driving at me head on in my lane. i looked to my right, there was a huge blue and yellow semi in the lane next to me. i looked to my left, more cars and not much room. so there i was, a sitting duck with 2 cars coming straight at me. i'm full out sobbing by now, holding my almost 27 week pregnant belly, crying, "no, no, please no". the white sedan's rear bumper flew off the back of his car with less than 10 yards to go. i'm watching the man driving the car: a grown man, white shirt, mustache, gray hair. there were others in the car but i didn't look past the driver. i wonder if they saw the panic and fear in my face amidst my tears. at what seemed like the last moment, he swerved to my left and both cars passed me and continued in the opposite direction.

i don't know how and when i started driving again, but there was an off ramp less than a quarter mile from where i had been stopped. even as i was on the ramp, i saw the white car go zooming past in the right direction on the highway. i didn't wait to look for the green car. i pulled into a gas station at the top of the ramp and there i sat, shaking and crying, terrified to drive any further. what if the chase continued? what if i came across them again? no less than 4 police cars went zooming past and got on 285 from the very exit at which i had parked.

after about 45 minutes, i summed up the courage to just go home. it was probably the longest drive home ever. i struggled not to vomit. i felt my neck and back tensing, knowing i would be sore by the evening. when i finally made it the daycare provider's house, i again broke into tears as antonio and julia belén wrapped their little arms around me. her house is less than 2 miles from mine, and no interstate driving required. it was a short drive to the house from there, and i was never happier to make it home.

it's been a long afternoon and evening as i try not to rehash and relive the events of the drive home. easier said than done. all the "what ifs" racing through my mind:

- what if andres and the kids had been in the car...
- what if i had not gone to pick up the stuff...
- what if had tried to change lanes to my left at the last minute...
- what if i had written one more e-mail before leaving work...
- what if i had not gotten a little lost on the way to pick up the baby gear...
- what if i had not stopped to fulfill my pregnancy craving...
- what if...

could doing/not doing any one of these things have been what saved me and the baby from a far worse outcome? as i try to move past what happened today (without developing a crippling fear of driving on the interstate), i tell myself God knew what He was doing. it was His grace alone that protected us today. i have no doubt. every single "what if" that i can come up with doesn't matter, because God was on top of things. there are no "what ifs", there are just God's plans.

and apparently, He even has plans that include frosty floats.

end of summer

2010-09-10T05:35:00.000-07:00

between the world cup and all our travels, the summer quickly flew by. i tried to make the most of this summer and really just enjoy spending time with the kids as i knew at the end of the summer i would be going back to work full time.

we had a great summer.

we went to the fountains, spent time time at the library, played in the sprinklers in the backyard. not to mention some fun trips to visit family. my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary in june. us kids organized a wonderful brunch to honor their love and celebrate together. 40 years. the best gift my parents could ever have given me is their example, their love for each other all these years. it's a gift that keeps on giving and helps me in my marriage and family daily. of course the kids were just delighted to celebrate and spend time with all their little cousins and their abuelos. and talk about finding a silver lining, we got to spend an extra couple days visiting thanks to julia belen suffering a slight concussion a few hours before we were supposed to leave for the airport. it was very scary, and the 2 trips to the ER and the CT scan were no fun, but antonio certainly didn't complain about the extra time with abuelo and abuela. and in the end, julia belen was fine. and almost just as soon as we got back from DC, we were off again. this time to colorado to visit the other abuelos. we had a wonderful week out in denver and delighted in meeting the kids' newest little cousin. even extended family were able to make the drive/flight from el paso and LA to come visit. it was a week full of visiting the mountains, going swimming, going to the zoo. we all had a lot of fun and were sad to come home.

but good things often come to an end. and so came the end of summer. i like to think back that we kept it focused on the family. this is a big year for us: new job for me, new baby, potentially a move if we can sell our house. i wanted this summer to be about family and the stability of it. i don't know how much the kids will remember about this summer. but i will hold so much of it in my heart forever.

World Cup menu - June 23

2010-06-23T20:13:00.000-07:00

Wednesday - USA!: meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes
Thursday - Italy: spaghetti with meat sauce
Friday - Spain: (leftover) gazpacho, tortilla española

Trying to keep it easy this week. We had an interesting return trip to DC, involving Julia Belén suffering a concussion on Monday and getting a head CT on her second trip to the ER (will post about it later), and super delayed 9 PM flight on Tuesday. Low key is the theme.

why i cry

2010-06-23T19:00:00.000-07:00

the USA vs. algeria world cup game today literally brought me to tears. as the clock went into stoppage time, i could feel tears welling up knowing that the US would not advance to the second round. just 60 seconds later, tears of sadness turned into tears of joy as landon donovan scored in the 91st minute, winning the game for the USA and winning our group, the first time since 1930.

while i can get really into sports, i don't cry over NCAA football. not even over the redskins (though that might be because i'm just numb when it comes to them now). i admit i get emotional over the olympics sometimes, but i don't cry if the US doesn't win.

but the world cup is not just any sporting event. it's way more than just soccer. what many people don't realize is that the world cup really takes place over the course of 3 years. what is broadcasted all over the world for about a month of the summer every 4 years is just a small part of it. our boys have been busting their butts for the past 3 years just to even qualify for this final stage of this year's world cup. they have to fight just to get a spot on the national team, and always while playing with their club teams at the same time.

let's face it, soccer doesn't have a huge following in the US like it does around the world (i have my own thoughts on that for another post some day). we fight to qualify for the world cup and when we do, we're still the underdogs. no one really takes the US seriously. people don't expect us to advance to the second round, and when we do, people expect it to be in second place. our team just doesn't get the respect it deserves.

so to watch our guys fight throughout today's game, not giving up and winning it in stoppage time, it just made me so proud of them and happy for them. they deserved the win. they earned the win. they put their all into that game, and the fact that we came out on top shows it.

and that's why i cry.

Spain vs Switzerland

2010-06-18T09:33:00.000-07:00

On wednesday Julia made a Spanish themed dinner in honor of the Spain vs Switzerland game. A great tasting Gaspacho, Grilled Asparagus (from the farmers market) with Lemon Basil (from the garden) and Pollo al Ajillo.

Japan vs Cameroon Dinner

2010-06-15T05:38:00.000-07:00

Julia made a delicious dinner themed for the Japan vs Cameroon game yesterday. Everything was homemade except for the sushi. She use vegetables from our farmers market, and herbs from our garden to put it all together.

Julia Belén even ate sushi (vegetable only roll)! though Julia accidentally gave her some avocado from one of the spicy shrimp rolls and it was a tad too spicy for her. She just kept sticking her tongue out not knowing what had happened!

World Cup menu - June 13

2010-06-13T14:36:00.000-07:00

In honor of the greatest sporting event in the world, our dinners for about the next month will be a culinary journey around the world. I am going to attempt making dishes native to a country playing on a given day. I'm very excited about this "project" and getting to try new foods/recipes.

So here's our menu for the first week, starting June 13 (only goes through Wednesday because we are visiting DC this weekend in honor of my parents' 40th wedding annivesary!)

Sunday - Algeria: Algerian chicken, saffron couscous with raisins and mint
Monday - Japan: sushi, vegetable tempura, daikon radish and cucumber salad
Tuesday - Brazil: feijoada with rice, fried yucca (really hoping to find manioc to make farofa)
Wednesday - Spain: gazpacho, pollo al ajillo, grilled asparagus

Let the games and cooking begin!

rite of passage?

2010-03-01T18:20:00.000-08:00

mondays are usually quiet days around here. i use it as a day to just spend time with the kids, catch up on laundry, get some cleaning done, get myself ready for my work week starting tuesday. being quiet days, i don't usually make much effort in getting ready. jeans, sweatshirt, glasses, no make-up.

today i made a little more effort. we had some errands to run this morning. i was actually pretty proud of myself. put in my contacts, put on make-up, picked out what i thought was a kind of cute/put together outfit.

i ran my errands with confidence, happy feeling that i didn't look like the stereotypical mom. that i looked more like a put-together mom that i often see out and about and wonder how they pull it off. the kids were great, we were efficient with our errands, and it was a happy morning overall.

then i got home and realized my shoes didn't match. they weren't even the same color.

who looks like a frazzled mom now?

a gift

2010-02-26T19:55:00.000-08:00

on monday, antonio had his first trip to the ER. during lunch, he flipped over the side of his booster seat and fell 2-3 feet and landed on the hardwood floor. on his head.

naturally, he got very upset and cried a good bit. but he settled down pretty quickly and even went on to finish his lunch. i decided to just watch him for a bit instead of calling the doctor right away. got julia belén down for a nap, and then he and i settled down for his quiet time, which usually involves watching a movie together. about 5 minutes after julia belén fell asleep, i noticed that there was a spot/line on antonio's forehead that was sunken in. this really concerned me, as i would expect it to swell and that he'd have a big goose egg. so off to the ER. some quick thinking to figure out what to do about julia belén. taking her with us was pretty much out of the question as she would be super cranky from being woken up and not having a nap and i really needed to be able to give antonio my full attention. i was unable to reach our friends that live close to us. and it would have taken andres an hour to get home from downtown. i ended up taking julia belén to the daycare provider's house. she would be able to finish her nap and it was on the way to the urgent care center anyways.

after getting head x-rays, any skull fractures were ruled out. huge sigh of relief. we left the doctor with instructions to monitor him and look for signs of a concussion/head injury, including waking him up throughout the night to make sure we could rouse him. antonio has been doing great and is back to his silly self.

in thinking about monday's events, while i foremost gave thanks to God that antonio was okay, i also thanked Him for the experience itself. not that i am happy that antonio hit his head so hard. but thankful for the lessons learned from the day.

you don't have to know me well to know how much i want to be a stay at home mom. i pray for it daily. but sometimes, when the kids are acting up and i don't handle it with as much grace as i should, i worry that maybe i'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom.

being so far from family is also very hard. so many times do i think to myself how it would easier if we had family closeby. like on monday, it would have been a no brainer what to do with julia belén. not having family support nearby can make it seem so much more lonely.

monday was a gift. God gave me monday to help me realize that i would be a great stay at home, even without family living closeby. i got through monday's events with patience, confidence, calm, and grace. i even managed to make dinner, sticking to our original mean plan instead of our standby chicken nuggets or hot dogs.

monday was hectic day where nothing went as planned. my kids needed me more than ever, demanded more of me than on ordinary days. but if i was able to get through monday, giving 100% and not losing my cool and not feeling like i needed a break, then i know i can be a great stay at home mom.

(and yes, antonio has been buckled into his seat since).

small successes, is it friday yet...

2010-01-28T13:02:00.000-08:00

1. i finally got back into our weekly menu planning and stuck to it. with all the traveling we did between november and january, it was hard to make a plan and stick to it. i really missed the menu planning. thinking of what to make for dinner on a daily basis was harder than i remembered. having the weekly menu again has been sooo nice.

2. i took the kids to 9:00 Mass last friday morning. being the anniversary of roe v. wade, i really wanted to go to pray for those millions of babies whose lives were taken because of the decision. it was no small feat. i felt sabotaged every step of friday morning. but we made it.

3. i went to work this morning. every shred of me wants to be a stay at home mom, and to say i was unmotivated this morning is an understatement. but i do have a responsibility to fulfill, so i went.

small successes, marathon edition

2010-01-14T11:36:00.000-08:00

1. i completed my first half marathon this past saturday!! hardest. coldest. craziest. stupidest. best. worst. awesome. all words which went through my mind during the long 13.1 miles to describe the experience. i am so blessed to have had the support of my family throughout the whole thing. it wasn't easy, but i did it!

2. we went on a family vacation to disneyworld and had a wonderful time! being so far from family, our vacations usually consist of going to visit. which we love doing, but it was nice to go on a vacation that was just for us. sometimes it's hard for me to step back and sort out the things that really need to get done and the things that don't. but putting our family first this time resulted in an unforgettable trip and we will always cherish the memories.

3. i made my lunch this week and didn't have to pick up fast food somewhere. this is a struggle for me because i get lazy about making my lunch the night before, but those lunches can add up and we are trying to pay off our debt.

i guess i'll eat some worms

2010-01-03T09:34:00.000-08:00

while in virginia for our christmas vacation, we went out to dinner with the family to an italian retaurant. part of the appetizer we ordered included fried calamari. upon the plate being brought to the table, antonio begged for some of the calamari. not wanting to discourage him in trying new foods, i gave him a piece. but he insisted on one of the pieces that had the tentacles.

"okay," i thought to myself, "if that's what he wants".

i gave him the calamari. he promptly turned it around with tentacles down, and announced to the table "araña" (spider). but the funniest part was that he then promptly picked it up and took a huge bite, even though he had just told us it was a spider!

later on, when his spaghetti was brought out, he announced that it was "gusanos" (worms). which he devoured.

i wonder what goes through his little mind, thinking that his parents feed him spiders and worms.

2009-11-19T20:00:00.001-08:00

1. I have successfully pumped for little Julia Belén for a full year (I know she's not 1 until the 30th, but I'm not counting next week since we're on vacation and there won't be a need to pump). I will be honest, hate is not a strong enough word for how I feel about pumping. Especially this time around since I have no office at my job meant pumping in bathrooms, my car, empty teacher workrooms, constantly worrying that someone would walk in. But it is a sacrifice I'm willing to make for my daughter.

2. I made the decision to stop pumping after Julia Belén turns a year old (so technically, I'm already done since I don't work next week). Pumping has been becoming more and more stressful as I have not been able to keep up with my little jelly belly. I felt a little guilt at first in my decision, but I feel sure that giving up the pump will rekindle my joy in nursing.

3. I did 4-5 loads of laundry this week (I lost count) and there is only 1 left to fold and put away.

2009-11-12T18:11:00.000-08:00

1. My family celebrated the marriage of my brother Carlos to his new wife Jenn! It was such a beautiful weekend, filled with such joy. I still get teary remembering hear my brother tell Jenn he loved her up at the altar, and how Jenn's love for my little brother is so strong that she was moved to tears.

2. I finished knitting one of the many Christmas presents that I set out to knit. One down and many to go. But one down!

3. We took down our Halloween decorations within a week of Halloween.

2009-10-08T10:59:00.001-07:00

1. I got all the kids' fall clothes out and washed, finally. Poor Julia Belén hasn't had clean pants and we had some chilly mornings. It was past due. (Of course the clothes being clean doesn't necessarily mean that they are put away).

2. Our refrigerator broke yesterday. The day before I told Andres that I thought there was something wrong with it. But of course it waits to officially break (and hence turn our ice cream into soup) until the day Andres leaves to go out of town for a night, and he almost never travels for work. I managed to call someone to come look at it, make the decision that the cost of fixing it was not worth the repair (it is always breaking), and go out and buy a new fridge on my own.

3. Andres went out of town and I actually cooked dinner for the kids. Anyone who knows me well should know that whenever Andres is gone, I order enough take-out to last me the whole time he's gone. I like the break of not having to cook. But since we just came up with a very realistic plan to pay off one of our big credit cards in only 6 months, I really need to stick to our budget.

The body of ... zzzrrrrbbbbttt

2009-09-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we went to 5:30 Mass. Of the times of day we can go to Mass, the 5:30 is probably my least favorite. For starters, I hate leaving Mass for the end of the day. Just doesn't feel right. Secondly, it's a horrible time for the kids. Dinner is usually between 6:30 and 7, and when we go to afternoon Mass we're lucky to be home by 7:15. Trying to keep 2 hungry kids happy in the middle of Communion is not fun.

We just barely got to Mass on time. I had been in South Carolina all weekend visiting a friend. Made it home in time for a late lunch with the family and then I sought off the week's menu planning and grocery shopping. I had just enough time to put away all the perishables before we left for church. Since we got there "late", we ended up sitting in the very front, right across from the priest.

The kids did surprisingly well. I was worried they'd be all over the place. I pictured Antonio running up on the altar since there wasn't really anything else in front of us. I also worried when he turned to me in the middle of the readings and asked me for a hot dog.

But sitting in the front ended up being so good for little Antonio. He participated in the Mass in a way he never has before. He could see much more. He folded his little hands when we prayed, he even knelt during the Consecration. I was so proud and so happy for him.

Julia Belén on the other hand, decided to "participate" in another way. My darling daughter has recently discovered how fun it is to blow raspberries. Wouldn't you know she decided that Communion was the best time to really go at it. And how do you convince a 10 month old to stop blowing raspberries? I, being the worrier I am, started feeling anxious. She just wouldn't stop. The poor Eucharistic minister less than 2 feet in front of us was struggling to contain her laughter. People going up to receive the Holy Eucharist and all they could hear was zzzrrrrbbbbtttt! It proved too much for the Eucharistic minister, and when she couldn't hold back her laughter any longer, I couldnt' stop laughing myself. It was such a joyful moment, having just received the Sacred Sacrament and celebrating Holy Mass.

With the week that it had been, I can't imagine a better way to have ended it. God was speaking through my little jelly bean to let me know it was okay to feel joy. zzzzrrrrbbbtttt!

Rollercoaster of a week

2009-09-24T19:44:00.001-07:00

1. I finally finished sewing Antonio his Curious George pajamas. It was my first project using a pattern. They're far from perfect, but they fit and he loves them.

2. We harvested an 18.8 pound watermelon from Andres' garden. It outweighs Julia Belén. We ate it for dessert tonight and it was soooo delicious. Even just the smell of it was enough to entice Antonio to eat 2 slices. I am so proud of all the work Andres has put into the garden and it was really fun to enjoy the fruits of his labor (literally!).

3. I made the decision to cancel my private patients this evening. It was an emotional week. A dear friend's father lost his battle with cancer, a parapro I work with lost her adultl son in a car accident, a patient of mine ended up in the hospital not long after I saw him (nothing I did, he had hit his head before I got there and started vomiting after I left). The flooding throughout Atlanta certainly didn't help keep spirits high either. And with a last minute appointment at the pediatrician a half hour before I'm supposed to head out of town tomorrow morning, canceling those patients was the wisest choice for our family. Keeping things in perspective was my small success.

it's been a looong while...

2009-09-17T12:56:00.000-07:00

Our poor little neglected blog. I have been meaning to post for so long, but things have been crazy. August was not a good month. It started off beautifully, with the baptism of my sweet godson James. I even survived flying alone with the two kids. The day after we got back, my last week before school starting and me working again, our house flooded. 11 nights staying in a hotel, replacing floors, ceilings, furniture (which while shopping for said furniture, I managed to break my toe). We were so excited to move back into our "new" house, when 2 days after moving back in, one by one we were all struck by the flu. It was a hard month. I feel like I'm still struggling to get my feet on the ground. Hence, our poor little blog was not on the top of my list of things to do. I like to think that surviving the month of August was enough small successes alll rolled into one to excuse not having posted on a weekly basis. So anywho, here's my small successes for the past week.

1. A successful week in meal planning. Slow cooker Tuesdays is turning out to have been a great idea, as Tuesdays are my busiest day of the week workwise. We got off weekly meal planning for a while with the flood and all and I'm so glad to have gotten back into it. Makes life that much easier.

2. I was super organized for the baby shower I threw for a close friend over the weekend. Got all the cooking done the day before while the kids napped and even finished knitting a hat for her sweet little boy.

3. I am caught up on treatment notes and work e-mails. Getting behind is so stressful to me so it's nice to feel on top of it, even if for only 1 week.

we've skipped a few week, but here goes...

2009-07-02T13:36:00.001-07:00

1. I took the kids to 9:00 Mass on Tuesday morning. Going to weekday Mass is something I've been wanting to do, especially since I have 2 extra days off work over the summer. But time usually gets away from me in the morning. Not this week. Taking the kids to Mass alone wasn't easy, but we got through it (and were blessed that we could sit with a friend of ours who helped a little with Antonio).
2. I finally finished the second dress I've been knitting for Julia Belén. I love how it came out!
3. We went to visit some dear friends of ours this afternoon. It's been something I've been meaning to do for a loonngg while, and I'm so glad we got to see them today. They are such a wonderful family.

2009-06-11T07:39:00.000-07:00

1. I got around to renting a carpet cleaner from the grocery store and steam cleaned the carpets yesterday. Myself.
2. I have made over 40 train shaped lollipops in preparation for Antonio's birthday party this coming Saturday. Last year I made tropical shirt lollipops. This year, I thought about not doing the lollipops since it is a labor intensive. But I decided to make it a fun tradition for the kids' birthdays and when they get older, they can even help.
3. Antonio is 100% pacifier free!! Our dirty little secret is that we've been giving it to him at naptime and bedtime. But on our way home from Helen last Saturday, Antonio was throwing a fit because he wanted his pacifier. We didn't have it so he screamed/cried the whole (hour long) ride home. Amidst the screaming I declared to all in the car, "That's it! No more pacifier, not ever." I had had enough. And we've stuck to it. And Antonio has been just fine without it.

2009-06-04T17:45:00.000-07:00

1. We celebrated Antonio's second birthday on Monday. A nice quiet day at home as a family, enjoying some of Antonio's favorite things. He even got to try chocolate milk!
2. Finally got around to some diaper maintenance and bleached them this morning. It was long overdue.
3. Planned ahead and included some "cook once, eat twice" recipes in our menu this week. I now have lasagna and ropa vieja ready for another week. I even made the ropa vieja earlier in the day today so when Andres was alone with the kids for dinner while I saw a private patient, all he had to was heat it up.

Happy Birthday sweet boy

2009-06-02T12:42:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, Antonio turned 2 years old.

In the days and weeks leading up to his birthday, I would get sad thinking about my baby boy growing older. He has really starting growing more independent from me. I look at him and I don't see my little baby, I see a little boy. Just watching him you can see him scheming, thinking, problem-solving. You can see his little imagination at work as he plays with his new toy trains. He has his likes and his dislikes. He wants to choose his own shoes when we get ready. He has to have a big boy cup and fork and his own napkin during dinner. It's been such an adventure watching this little person discover who he is.

My little son has taught me so much these past 2 years. So much about living and loving and about what's really important in life.

Am I sad that he's not my little baby anymore? Yes. But I am even more excited about what the future will bring? You bet.

Happy Birthday my sweet Antonio. I love you more than you could ever know.

Proud of Antonio

2009-05-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we went to see family in Panama City Beach, Florida. We had a great time, and were actually able to get in a few hours of sunlight, between the rain, at the beach and the pool. I was so proud of Antonio, playing on the beach made me realize how fast he is growing up. He was happily playing in the sand, and when we went down to the water with Julia Belén, he came with us, then decided that he would rather play in the sand back at our towels. So on his own, he found our towels and sat down to play. Later we went to the Ottinger's pool, Antonio seemed a little hesitant about getting into the pool (since this was the first time since last summer), he finally warmed up to it, and eventually had the courage to go down the water slide (the bottom quarter of it). He did a very good job kicking to propel himself around the pool, which made me so proud. And you could tell he was proud of himself, at least with going down the slide. He would call out loudly "Mami" with a huge grin, so that Julia would watch him go down the slide. And he did a great job kicking around the pool.

2009-05-21T18:36:00.000-07:00

This week has been kind of a blur. We have a very busy month ahead of us and I'm tired before we've even gone anywhere. So I don't feel as if I've accomplished much thus past week. But here goes...

1. On Saturday I went to: the farmer's market, the bank, the library (twice), Toys R Us, Party City, and Gymboree. And I was home by 10:30 in the morning, in time for all of us to have a late breakfast together.
2. I caught up with laundry, even if only temporarily.
3. I wrote this post.

Home-Grown Pork Rub

2009-05-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

Last night I was able to make a rub using all ingredients grown in our garden for the Pork tenderloin (except for the salt). I was not sure how it would turn out, as I used herbs that I have never cooked with before, and others that I am just starting to experiment with, but it turned out really well. We all loved the pork, Antonio ate everything we gave him, and he asked for seconds and then a third helping of the pork. The herbs I used were Lemon Verbena, Pineapple Sage, Common Sage, Rosemary, Cuban Oregano, and a pinch of Thyme (as that is barely big enough to harvest). Then I added some extra virgin olive oil and a kosher salt. It was definitely a nice feeling of being able to cook with herbs and vegetables that we are growing ourselves, where they were able to go straight from the garden into our dishes.

2009-05-14T12:23:00.000-07:00

1. I finished thank you notes from Julia Belén's baptism. They will go out tomorrow or Friday.

2. I made it through 8 hours of IEP meetings without falling asleep.

3. Planned a menu based on things we got at the farmer's market on Saturday. Really trying to stick to seasonal and local eating.

2009-05-07T11:48:00.000-07:00

1. We did the right thing and went to 5:30 Mass last Sunday. We were really tempted not to go. We had just spend 3 hours driving back from South Carolina and 5:30 Mass is a HORRIBLE time for the kids and it runs into dinner time. But we knew and felt it was the right thing to do. (and yes, the kids were just as bad as expected)

2. Celebrated Cinco de Mayo with some homemade chicken enchiladas and was able to freeze enough to have 2 more dinners.

3. I went to work today. Doesn't sound like much of an accomplishment, but trust me, that was a big accomplishment for me today.

2009-04-30T12:57:00.000-07:00

1. All 3 bathroom in our house were clean at the same time.

2. We made strawberry jam from the strawberries we picked over the weekend.

3. I went out shopping and when I got back I was 100% honest in telling Andrés what I spent. If you know me, and my shopping obsession, it's actually kind of a big deal for me. Especially when I had my eye on several little strawberry outfits for the baby. Telling him exactly what I spent meant a) I did not put it on the credit card that's only in my name (long story on how that even exists) and b) I did not go crazy spending. I know to get past my shopping habits, and thus get one step closer to being a stay at home mom, I have to have a change in mindset. Would Antonio look really cute in (another) embroidered shirt? Yes. But does he really need it? No.

CSI: Suwanee

2009-04-29T18:28:00.000-07:00

I enter into the nursery once I hear Antonio is up from his nap.

My first clue that Antonio may have gotten into trouble: his hair is C.R.A.Z.Y. I mean, totally wild. But it looked cute, so I didn't think much of it.

I notice that the room smells different. Not a bad smell. Almost an herbal, aromatherapy type smell. Hmmm...

As I cross the room to his bed, I see bits of torn paper all over the floor leading to a small fancy bath soap that now has small teeth marks. I don't know when Antonio got a hold of that decorative soap nor where he had it stashed. Oh, but that is not the only "crime".

I get closer to Antonio and notice white fingerprints all over the windowsill and his black bed. The herbal smell I noticed before seems to get stronger. I realize Antonio has a white paste all over his clothes, his face, and his hair.

Apparently, I have underestimated my son's climbing abilities. Someone got the diaper cream off the top of the dresser, unscrewed the lid, and proceeded to finger paint all over the window and himself.

Case closed.

Half full or half empty?

2009-04-29T15:18:00.001-07:00

The good thing about really getting behind on laundry is that there were already clean pajamas in our room when Julia Belén spit up everywhere in our bed in the middle of the night last night. No need to risk going into the kids' room and waking up Antonio.

The bad thing about getting really behind on laundry is that the clean pajamas were on the bottom of a pile of laundry 3 loads of clothes deep. Which meant the somewhat neat pile of laundry relatively confined to the basket turned into clean clothes all over our bedroom floor in search for clean pajamas.

Next time maybe she'll just sleep in spit-up covered pajamas.

2009-04-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

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1. Went strawberry picking with the kids on Monday and took the opportunity to do a small lesson on colors with Antonio. I will post about it soon.
2. We continue to handle Antonio's tantrums without squabbling between ourselves. I know it was one of my small successes from last week, but if you have kids, you know how easy it is to lose patience amongst the crying and screaming.
3. We harvested our first few vegetables from the garden, some radishes and some lettuce. They were so delicious and I'm so proud of Andrés for all the hard work he's put into it.

2009-04-16T08:55:00.000-07:00

1. Spent a beautiful Easter weekend full of egg hunts and time with dear friends. They are like family to us.
2. I delight in Antonio speaking Spanish. He recently learned the word "huevo" over Easter.
3. We are surviving Antonio's tantrums with great patience and calm.

2009-04-09T12:50:00.000-07:00

1. We had our beautiful Julia Belén baptized.
2. I pulled together a yummy taco soup the day we got home from DC using the stuff I had in my pantry. Usually we have Ramen whenever we come back from vacation.
3. Antonio and I made pretzels from scratch for Lent.

2009-03-26T12:17:00.000-07:00

1. Finished the dress I've been knitting for Julia Belén, and it actually fits her!
2. Sold some diaper covers on diaperswappers that have been sitting unused since before Julia Belén was born, and even shipped them within 12 hours.
3. Got caught up on paperwork for work in preparation for the start of IEP season.

Breakfast with Julia Belén

2009-03-23T04:43:00.001-07:00

This morning I brought Julia Belén down with me while I was making & eating my breakfast. She kept me great company, she was full of smiles everytime I looked over at her. She was also chatting & giggling away the whole time.
-Andrés

green carnations

2009-03-20T11:43:00.000-07:00

as part of our st. patrick's day fun here, i decided that it we could dye some carnations green. i got a bunch of white carnations at the store and then i let antonio help me add some green food coloring to the water. sadly, it didn't work as well as i would have liked.

dyeing the carnations made me think back to my kindergarten science fair project. same thing, dyeing carnations. i remember we dyed them red. i remember the dark green felt with which we wrapped the display board. and i remember ripping the dark green felt off in a rage as a way to get back at my siblings. apparently, i thought destroying my project would upset them as much as i upset me.

lord help me should julia belén take after me. let's hope it's not in the name.

New thing

2009-03-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

My sister has been doing this on her blog, and it's one of my favorite things now. Makes me think about the things I've done right over the week instead of worrying about the things that did not get done. So I'm gonna start sharing too.

1. Did 5 loads of laundry and only 1 still needs to be folded.
2. Went on my first run as part of training for my half marathon.
3. Celebrated St. Patrick's day with a beef and Guinness stew, even though it required a last minute menu change.

Adventures of Bike Commuting

2009-03-17T18:35:00.000-07:00

Today was a very adventurous day in the world of bike commuting. This morning I had to sprint the 4 miles to make the bus. The reason I was late is that I had a nail embeded in the rear tire, and in the process of changing the tube I either found or made a pinch flat in my spare, so I had to patch the spare to be able to use it. Then wrestle the tire back on the rim, then head out.

And this afternoon on the way home from work, my bike was in another bus accident on the highway, almost 6 months to the day (tomorrow would have been six months exactly). I am fine, just sore, and it looks like my bike did not sustain damage this time. But it was scary, it was a multiple car pile up, very much like the crash in Taledega Nights, where cars were spinning in 360's in front of our path and the bus swerved, when up on two wheels and then started plowing into the spinning cars, using my bike as the plow.

But I did not start running around screaming about the invisible fire. . . .

Tuesday Feb 24th's reading

2009-03-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

I had meant to post about this earlier, but last week, as you may have gathered was pretty hectic, but as I was listening to the daily scripture readings on my iPod while on the bus on Tuesday morning (as I do first thing every morning), the reading really hit home. With how things are going financially, with us personally and with the rest of the world, I really connected. I see it as God's way of sometimes telling me to have faith, that he knows what we are going through, and gives me the message in ways that are sometimes less subtle than others. Here is the reading that I am referring to, I have highlighted the part that really connected:

Sirach 2:1-11

My son, when you come to serve the LORD, prepare yourself for trials.
Be sincere of heart and steadfast, undisturbed in time of adversity.
Cling to him, forsake him not; thus will your future be great.
Accept whatever befalls you, in crushing misfortune be patient;
For in fire gold is tested, and worthy men in the crucible of humiliation.
Trust God and he will help you; make straight your ways and hope in him.
You who fear the LORD, wait for his mercy, turn not away lest you fall.
You who fear the LORD, trust him, and your reward will not be lost.
You who fear the LORD, hope for good things, for lasting joy and mercy.
Study the generations long past and understand; has anyone hoped in the LORD and been disappointed? Has anyone persevered in his fear and been forsaken? Has anyone called upon him and been rebuffed?
Compassionate and merciful is the LORD; he forgives sins, he saves in time of trouble.

hold the jalapeños

2009-02-28T08:27:00.000-08:00

it's 8:30 in the morning and this is our house: antonio sleeping upstairs in his toddler bed. julia belén asleep in the swing downstairs. andres and i sleeping on the couches. cornflower asleep upstairs under our bed.

i couldn't have imagined a better way to end (start?) the week. it was a long one.

started off with both kids coming down with colds last sunday. julia belén has recovered pretty quickly, just a little bit of a stuffy nose. thank goodness for breastmilk. antonio's been slower to recover. he'd get better, then get worse. get better, then worse. and on monday he started running a low grade fever that lasted all week.

work is kicking my butt. even though it's only two and a half days, and a couple private patients, i am having trouble keeping up with the paperwork, the phone calls, the meetings, etc.

so come friday, one of my days off, i am wiped. frumpy fridays, i like to call them. we usually stay in our pjs pretty late and when i do shower i change into jeans and a t-shirt. no make-up. i don't dry my hair. lazy day.

decide mid-morning to take antonio the pediatrician. of course it has to be a frumpy friday, not looking my best. and at lunch antonio rubbed a plate full of ranch all over his head. i had to take antonio to the doctor and he smelled like a salad.

meanwhile, andres had taken the bus home at 12:30 to immediately turn around and drive back to the south of town to get tags transferred on the solara. we decided a long time ago to become a 1 car family and with the registration due in a couple weeks, we were running out of time. so andres is at carmax while i'm at the pediatrician.

antonio has an ear infection.

takes a lot longer to get the paperwork done on the solara than we thought. julia belén is getting hungry. don't tell us it's going to be 5 minutes to finish the paperwork when it's really 20. 15 minutes is a very significant amount of time when you have a nursling.

we have to stop at publix to get antonio's prescription filled. it's already 6:30. since it's getting late, we decide to get some spuds at mccalister's next to publix while the prescription is being filled. also gives me time to feed the baby.

it's friday in lent so no meat. we decide to get veggie chili spuds. didn't think twice about the jalapeños on top.

the rest of the night went relatively smoothly. we got through dinner and bedtime more or less on time. andres and i watched blood diamond while the baby slept. went to bed at about midnight. and then the fun started.

antonio woke up crying at about 4:45. he tried finding his way to our room but i think he got scared in the dark and just stood in our doorway crying. brought him to bed with us. the crying roused julia belén, who had just nursed about an hour ago. not really time for her to eat again. antonio was restless in our bed so andres went back to the nursery with him to see if he would fall asleep in his bed again. no such luck. even from our room, i could hear him chatting away.

it's now 6 in the morning. antonio's still awake. i can't convince julia belén to fall asleep without nursing again, so i give in. all of sudden, she starts gagging and then throws up EVERYWHERE. i mean, e.v.e.r.y.w.he.r.e. i am drenched, the sheets are soaked on both sides of the bed. there was no way we were getting back into that bed. apparently, the jalapeños did not agree with her. i call andres to come change the baby while i change. he takes julia belén downstairs, and i go back to antonio to rock him back to sleep.

he finally falls asleep. julia belén, not so much. i tried nursing her again. after all she did just throw up everything she ate. she's still up. so i tried just cuddling on the couch but she gets mad that i'm not moving. at this point i am too exhausted to walk around rocking her until she falls asleep so we bring the swing to the living room and see if she will fall asleep. works like a charm. it's like the padding is soaked in ether. andres and i finally lay back down to sleep on the couches if even for a couple more hours of sleep, forgetting that we left the dog upstairs. so that's how we ended up scattered about the house this morning.

i have never been so grateful for a rainy, better-to-stay-home-inside, saturday. because that's all we feel like doing.

in defense of my food

2009-02-24T11:01:00.000-08:00

recently, i was criticized for the food choices i make for my family.

we eat meat and dairy.

no, i don't buy grass-fed beef. no, i don't buy organic chicken. no, i don't buy a lot of organic in general. the fact is, that stuff is expensive. too expensive for our budget.

what i DO do is cook home-made meals from scratch, almost every day. i definitely think about it when i pass by the pre-packaged meals in the aisles of the grocery store. where labels advertise that they'll be ready in just 10 minutes. it's so tempting. they look good and they look easy. but they aren't. so i pass them by. instead i buy fresh meat (i have no qualms over feeding my family meat, organic or not), fresh veggies, fresh fruit and go from there. yes, sometimes it's a little more work. but it's healthier and also tastier, in my opinion.

yes, i have chicken nuggets, taquitos, frozen veggies, and hot dogs in my freezer. i am a working mom of 2, and sometimes life gets ahead of me and i need back up plans for those days. but by and large, i cook from scratch and i plan ahead to make sure all of us have well balanced meals, 3 times a day. i wouldn't call that eating crap.

Garden Blog

2009-02-09T10:19:00.000-08:00

I have started a new blog that will serve as our garden journal. I am calling it the Stell Homestead. Enjoy.

really?

2009-02-06T13:57:00.001-08:00

my 20 month old is slithering out of his stroller and running away while i'm wearing a screaming 2 month old. and the kiosk vendor wants me to try some perfume?

really?

despite our best efforts

2009-02-04T12:49:00.000-08:00

last time we were at the pediatrician my kids were the grungy kids. the ones you look at and wonder geez, doesn't this woman bathe her children or even put clean clothes on them before they leave the house. and me, with my hair still wet, pulled back in a pony tail, jeans, a sweatshirt, and sneakers. no make-up, i'm lucky i remembered to brush my teeth. in my defense, the appointment was scheduled only an hour before i had to be there. and as i've learned, it takes twice as long to pack up 2 kids and get in the car than it does 1. so an hour is nothing.

but i digress.

we had julia belén's 2 month well visit today and i was determined to redeem myself. both kids were bathed last night. and i was very careful about what they wore today. julia belén in a a dress and tights and antonio with a dressy sweater and courdoroy pants. i put on a nicer sweater and put on make-up. we were lookin' good. but wouldn't you know that antonio found the cookie i had secretly packed in the diaper bag in case he got bored (and i got desperate). and sure enough, the doctor walks in when antonio is mid-cookie and his face and hands are completely covered in chocolate.

still the grungy kids after all.

Stell Homestead

2009-02-03T10:33:00.000-08:00

This year is going to be the first year I attempt to grow a lot more food than the normal one or two tomato plants on top of the lemon tree and blueberry bush I have had for a few years already. I don't seem to be alone in this idea, there are many grass-root movements of people realizing that they miss the joy of gardening and growing their own food, and people who realize that it is much more sustainable eating local, and nothing is more local than your own garden. Some are doing it so they know exactly what goes into their food (or what does not go into the food). Some people see this as a means of insurance against the possibility of worse financial times, which is becoming a reality for many. To make things interesting, and to help promote the popularity of growing your own food, I have joined the Freedom Harvest Collective Growing Challenge. I'll let everyone know how it goes.
-Andres

couscous

2009-02-02T10:26:00.000-08:00

i have a love-hate relationship with couscous.
antonio loves it. but there lies the problem. do you know how hard it is to clean up couscous?

Notes on "The Omnivore's Dilemma"

2009-01-28T09:59:00.000-08:00

I am currently reading "The Omnivore's Dilemma" and am thoroughly enjoying it. Like Nina Planck's "Real Food" it dives into the history and make up of what we eat. I know I am biased, since I am an avid meat eater (although can't always afford to be), but small things like the fact that we (humans) produce in our stomachs an enzyme specifically designed to break down elastin, a type of protein found in meat and now where else, and that our metabolism requires specific chemical compounds that can only be gotten from animals (like vitamin B-12) confirms my belief (or preference) that eating meat in moderation is natural and healthy. One thing that I am learning from "The Omnivore's Dilemma" is that the difference of grass fed and grain fed meat, may be the difference between it being healthy or not. Studies show that grass fed meats and poultry do not have the same problems leading to cardiovascular disease, and have a higher content of omega-3, which plays an indispensable role in human health, especially in the growth and health of brain cells. It makes me wonder how many of our health problems are really ones that we can easily avoid if we pay more attention to what we eat, and eat more naturally in ways that God intended for us to. He obviously created us this way, why fight it?
-Andres

the 12 days of Christmas

2009-01-07T15:01:00.001-08:00

what a holiday season for us! we enjoyed pretty much all of advent with the abuelos in town. the abuelos villa were here the first week of decemeber and the abuelos stell arrived the 19th and were here for about 10 days. and then tío carlos and jenn arrived just in time to celebrate the new year with us. antonio (and the rest of us) miss everyone so much! we couldn't have asked for a better way to celebrate this christmas season than surrounded by our loved ones.

on the first day of christmas, our nephew john david was born! he was over 5 weeks early but is doing GREAT! he was never even admitted to the nicu and was able to go home with my sister 2 days after being born. he is evidence of the power of prayer. for weeks my sister had been struggling with cholestasis and they had already planned on inducing her 2 weeks early. we all prayed very hard that little john continue to grow and thrive. i guess 2 weeks early was not early enough it turns out. we are all very excited to meet the newest tiny little miracle in our family!

we only wish the 12th day of christmas was as joyful as the first. a dear family friend suffered a massive heart attack on new year's eve and the doctors have given him a worse than poor prognosis. but we all saw the power of prayer when it came to john. and miracles do happen. so we continue to pray.

take that!

2008-12-14T18:27:00.000-08:00

for weeks and weeks our wiifit has been lecturing me on my weight gain, asking me why i think i might be gaining. the thing even spies on me and asks andres about me, asking if i look any slimmer. every time i would get it on i had gained at least 2 pounds. i know why i was gaining weight, but it never occured to anyone over at nintendo to have a pregnancy setting. no, instead i reached obese according to my BMI and my mii just kept getting fatter and fatter and my shirt kept rising higher and higher.

well, it gave me great joy to step on the wiifit yesterday and have a 14 pound weight loss from 2 weeks ago. it's gonna love me for the next few weeks.

life with antonio

2008-12-13T11:01:00.000-08:00

having an 18 month old son means life is never boring. there are so many things i've learned from my little toddler.

for example, the 5 basic food groups have been redefined. they are as follows:
1. milk
2. yogurt
3. rice
4. cheese
5. ketchup

i've also learned that when you keep an 18 month old couped up inside for 4 days because you have a newborn, he turns into the tasmanian devil. running, laughing, and screaming in circles, not even cornflower can handle his energy. which makes her hide, and him seek her out even more.

he's discovered he can pick his nose, that he can fake burp, and that he can take off his clothes. he's even become quite the little exhibitionist. all wrapped up in his towel after his bath, he grabs the ends and opens the towel wide and screams, "hola!".

but the best thing i've learned is that no matter how tired you are, or how crazy he can make you, that that all disappears with his hugs, kisses, and laughter. there is no better feeling.

i'm so happy i'll now get double the love and laughter.

Baby Girl!!

2008-11-30T02:10:00.001-08:00

6lbs 5 oz and 18.25"

promise to myself

2008-11-25T07:49:00.000-08:00

i vow to no longer shop at walmart nor target.

target. i thought i was taking advantage of a great deal when i recently purchased a carseat online for less than 50 bucks, a carseat that is normally 300 dollars. oh no. the next day my order was canceled, with target claiming that the item had been mismarked. yeah, i'd believe you except that i know, for a fact, several women that bought the same carseat and received theirs within days of placing their order. not surprisingly, there are several new-in-box britax marathons listed on craigslist now, and they are not 50 bucks.

walmart. several weeks ago i ordered my nephew's christmas present online with free shipping to the store. another great deal, less than 7 dollars on something that i found closer to 10 at most stores. two days after the target carseat fiasco, i received an e-mail that i was getting a refund because the item was lost in the store. yeah right. today i went to walmart to just go buy it in the store and they had PLENTY, all marked at 10 dollars. not a great start to my trip to walmart. then i basically get accused of trying to steal when i'm checking out. if you know me, you know that that does NOT go over well with me. it all started with an incident at big boy with my mom when i was younger.

so, my new promise to myself is to no longer shop at either of these stores. so what if target is the easiest place to get the method brand cleaning products. i'll find some other all natural brand or just get stuff online. so what if the sweet potatoes were 25 cents a pound at walmart when yesterday i paid 43 cents at kroger. so not worth it. i'm sure the atlanta stells will do just fine without shopping at target or walmart.

napoleon

2008-11-16T17:26:00.000-08:00

that is our latest nickname for antonio. he is quite obsessed with his belly button. he has a lot of jammies that snap up off center and he still manages to stuff his hand in between 2 buttons to grab his belly. so he walks around, and sleeps, with one hand tucked into his pajamas.

well said

2008-11-13T18:53:00.000-08:00

i know i am not a good writer. my sister has more beautifully been able to provide a sense of what the past few days have been like in her post.

the loaves and the fishes?

2008-11-12T18:03:00.000-08:00

i have never cooked pumpkin bread using a whole pumpkin that i cooked myself. in fact, i don't think i've ever made pumpkin bread period. so i had no idea that a small sugar pumpkin was all i would need to make a couple loaves. nope, instead i thought it was a great bargain getting a 20 pound pumpkin for 6 bucks at a local pumpkin farm, especially when the owner said that this certain variety was the kind she preferred for baking. let's just say that i have already made 7 loaves of pumpkin bread and a bunch of baby food trying to use up the massive amount of pumpkin puree that that pumpkin yielded. it's like it just keeps multiplying.

fat guy in a little coat

2008-11-12T18:01:00.001-08:00

i am very disappointed in the fact that the sweater that i had bought for antonio to wear at thanksgiving is clearly mislabeled. he wore it the other day and it is way too small. i kept waiting for the sleeves to bust open as he bent over to grab his toys. hooray for having to deal with the mess of convincing the ladies at the store that it was mislabeled. as if i didn't already have enough to do.

listen to Him

2008-11-12T11:43:00.000-08:00

i have struggled over the past few days with how to write this post. it's hard to find the words, and when i think i've found them, i get too emotional to write them and have to put the computer away.

late friday night, my dad called to tell me my abuelito carlos had passed away. while abuelito had definitely not been well the past several months, the news still hit me like a ton of bricks. in june, when abuelito first got very ill, i rushed to get my passport expedited. i wanted to see him for what might be the last time. slowly he improved, and i never went. i second guessed myself the whole time, thinking if i didn't go then, what would i do if something were to happen later and i'd be too pregnant to travel. but abuelito slowly improved and eventually went home. i spoke with my parents and kept plans to travel this coming spring at the back of mind so that abuelito carlos might meet both my children at once. i convinced myself that there was time.

i spoke with abuelito about 3 weeks ago. and the past week, i've been saying to myself to call him again and see how he was doing. but something always came up and told myself i would just do it the next day. i had a dream last wednesday night that my abuelito passed away. i know now that God was telling me there wasn't much time and that i needed to quit making excuses for not calling. i wish i had listened better for now i will never get to hear his voice again. to talk about the weather as we always did on our phone calls. to tell him about his great-grandson and his great-granddaughter on the way.

the past few days i've spent a great deal of time just thinking about my abuelito, my padrino. remembering him. like the time he took carlos and i to the zoo in lima. or how proud he was of his grandchildren that he took a picture of me while i was on patrol duty in sixth grade. of the time he got pulled over while driving us to school. or how much he loved having his nightly ice cream after dinner, and how annoyed he would get with my aunt when she tried to tell him he couldn't have any. or how a man in his seventies kept up with his teenage grandchildren as we trekked around the amazon. or how he kept scotch tape locked up like it was gold and velcro-ed the TV remotes to the couch to not lose them.

even in his death, my grandfather was true to form. he was a general in the peruvian army and he wanted to be buried in his uniform. not only had he set his uniform aside, but had included a note as to where his hat was. like i said, true to form.

i truly wish i could have traveled to peru for the funeral. but it would have been too risky at over 36 weeks pregnant. but i was there in spirit. i can only imagine what it must have meant for my brother and my dad when the military officer removed my grandfather's military medals, sword, and hat from the casket, and saluted my brother as he handed them off to carlos. and i don't even have to strength to ask my parents or my brother what papi said when he spoke at the funeral.

all these "what ifs" have been going through my mind. mami offered consolation by telling me that when you're young that you always think there will be more time. but i really wish i had listened better and called.

like mother, like daughter

2008-10-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

before antonio was born, i wondered what kind of parent i would be. my mom often teases me that i'm just like my dad in many ways. but this week i've caught myself doing so many things my mom used to do when i was growing up...

- antonio had a frustrating week at dinner time. he wouldn't eat anything. instead he would sit in his chair and scream at us. there weren't even any real tears. without thinking, i turned to my son one night and told him "te va a dar escorbuto por no comer".

- in part due to my frustration with antonio's poor eating this week, and yes, a little of the scurvy fear (i know it's ridiculous, but mami always made it seem so real), i was desperate for antonio to eat more fruit. his snack yesterday afternoon consisted of a sliced banana covered in sprinkles, just like mami used to give us. i don't think i've ever seen antonio so happy to eat a banana, though i must admit that at first he only licked off the sprinkles.

- i have an obsession with little gourds and those little, tiny, baby pumpkins. andres doesn't understand why i'm so drawn to them. and today at the pumpkin patch, as i looked over the gourds and wanted to bring home a basket full, it dawned on me. mami loves them too and always has them out during the fall. and don't forget pointsettias at christmas time. if i had my way, our fireplace hearth would be covered with pointsettias.

- every morning i put my pajamas under my pillow after i get dressed.

rural

2008-10-14T17:44:00.000-07:00

you know you are working in a rural area when...

- you pass more horses, goats, cattle, and alpacas than cars on your way to work
- the marquees on all the stores are all wishing the cabbage patch kids a happy birthday
- you pass no less than 3 corn mazes in a single work day
- you get an e-mail from work about a pig for sale that is ready for slaughter

Bus Accident

2008-09-18T18:46:00.000-07:00

On the way home from work today my bus on I-85 was in an accident. Definitely shook me up. I am physically okay, but my bike is not. It was on the front of the bus when a car illegally changed lanes into the carpool lane (and he was by himself by the way) and clipped the bus, causing the bus to slam into the rear of the car at 65mph. The bus went into a skid, (luckily avoiding the jersey wall) all the while shrapnel from the civic was flying past my window. When we finally came to a stop, I was afraid to look for my bike at the front of the bus, and was surprised to find that it was still there. When the HERO unit came and moved the accident over to the right shoulder, I was finally able to get out of the bus to look at my bike, and found that the front wheel is bent to the point that it cracked, and the rear wheel is bent as well. The frame and the front fork may be bent as well, but I'll need to look at it more closely. Although I am annoyed that now I don't have a my primary means of getting to work, I have to thank God that no one was injured (even the guy driving the civic), and hopefully I'll be able to get my bike repaired/ replaced and be back on my bike in not too long.
-Andrés

the perfect little family?

2008-08-02T19:31:00.000-07:00

we are excited announce that we found out we are having a baby girl!! antonio is going to have a little sister!

as we've told people the exciting news, they've all been very excited for us as well. many times, immediately after being told congratulations, people say, "now you have a little pair". or, "one of each, what a perfect little family". it's amazing to me that so many people assume that we are done having kids because we already have one of each. or how people think the only reason others keep having children is to get at least one of each gender.

a friend of mine was leaving the gym with her 3 children: the oldest a boy, a 3-year-old girl, and a newborn baby girl. a complete stranger came over to dote on the baby and actually asked (about the newborn) "is she your mistake?"

like i said, i have just been amazed. we certainly plan on having more kids if we are fortunate enough to be blessed with more children. we may even have 2 "little pairs" eventually. maybe antonio will be our only boy. or maybe his sister will have only brothers. whatever we are given, we will be more than happy to receive. but it certainly will not be because of some societal quota.

there's a monster under my bed

2008-07-27T17:48:00.001-07:00

cornflower loves to sleep under our bed. sometimes she'll just go under there when we are all upstairs hanging out. we'll completely forget that she's under there and come downstairs. about 10 minutes later we might hear a soft tapping at the baby gate blocking the stairs at the bottom and a quiet whimper. sure enough, there she is at the gate waiting for us to open it. other times she'll sneak up there without us knowing and she'll just suddenly pop out from the under bed while folding laundry or making the bed. she's not a small dog, mind you. she's about 45 pounds, fairly solid. she's definitely caught me off guard a few of those times when she just jumps out from underneath the bed.

we've always joked that she's our blue monster under the bed. lately we've been wondering if maybe we should stop calling her that. otherwise, how would we ever convince antonio that there's no such thing as monsters under the bed?

my apologies...

2008-07-27T17:46:00.000-07:00

...to the lady in the pew in front of us at church a few weeks ago. it never crossed my mind that he might tickle the feet of the person kneeling in front of us.

catch-22

2008-07-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

if you clean their hands first they will inevitably get them dirty again by putting them on the tray you haven't yet cleaned.

if you clean the tray first, they will inevitably get it dirty by putting their not yet cleaned hands on the tray.

so which do you clean first?

Socks?

2008-07-09T05:59:00.001-07:00

Today as I rode up to the office on my bike I realized that I had forgotten to pack a pair of socks. Oops, so far I have been able to remember everything I need until this morning. At least it was only socks not something more important and more readily apparent than socks.
-Andres

call it crunchy...

2008-06-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

but we are switching to cloth diapers. it's something we had talked about doing with antonio from the beginning but we were given so many disposables that we didn't want to waste. and then we got sucked into the convenience of them. but we're finally ready to make the switch. we've been doing a lot of research as to what we need and what it will take, and it seems really doable. cloth diapering has a come a looonng way. seems like the only real difference between plastic and cloth these days is a few extra loads of laundry. i can handle that. we're gonna get started with antonio this summer so we are in full cloth diaper swing by the time "grillo" is born. (oh yeah, we're having another baby in december!). i'm pretty excited about making the switch. it'll be better for those precious little bottoms, better for the wallet in the long term, and better for the environment.

First Flat Tire

2008-06-26T06:53:00.001-07:00

Yesterday after commuting approximately 900 miles over the past year I got my first flat tire. And of course it had to be the rear one to make it a bit more difficult. But I actually was prepared. I had my new pump, a Topeak Mini Morph, an extra tube and my pry babies. The pump worked like a wonder compared to all the other compact bike pumps I have used before. So all in all it was I was able to change the tube with nothing more than a few ant bites (yes, I didn't realize that I sat near a path ants were using and was bitten a few time on my rear.)
-Andres

my little foodie

2008-06-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

here is a short list of some of the foods that antonio will eat without a fight:

- roast cauliflower with thyme
- grilled zucchini stuffed with onions, breadcrumbs, and mozzarella
- gnocchis with homemade marinara sauce

yet i cannot, for the life of me, convince my child to eat a chicken nugget. not even one bite. i would never have imagined that it would bug me that he won't eat fast food (he doesn't like french fries either). but seriously, who doesn't like chicken nuggets.

mixed bag

2008-06-16T15:05:00.000-07:00

Antonio is 1!!! My sweet boy had his first birthday on June 1st! I think he knew it was his special day, his face would just light up when people sang to him. He was blessed to spend his first birthday with most of his abuelos, his aunts/uncles, and all his cousins. We had a wonderful time and threw him a birthday luau since we were at the beach.

Speaking of which, we got to go on a week-long beach vacation. We had a wonderful time at the Outer Banks. A nice long vacation where we weren't scurrying about was long overdue. I can't wait until the next one. (Even though there was a rampant strain of "pato-virus" going around. :)

Each day I am amazed at the things my son can do. He puts the phone to his ear and talks into it when he's playing. He makes "vrooom" sounds as he pushes around his toy cars. He dances. He claps. I could go on and on. I must comment on what I learned he can do today. Apparently he has figured out how to use a spoon. How do I know this? My sneaky little mouse found my sugar holder in the cabinet in our dining room and sure enough I find him with sugar spoon in hand, sugar crystals all around his mouth, and a huge smile on his face.

What will he figure out tomorrow...

a little extra protein

2008-05-22T09:52:00.001-07:00

i'm pretty sure antonio ate an ant the other day.

what would Mary do?

2008-05-06T11:26:00.000-07:00

that's right. not what would Jesus do, but what would Mary do.

the past 6-8 weeks have been very challenging. antonio has been waking at night, then refusing to sleep in his bed. he doesn't take a bottle at daycare anymore. it all makes for a somewhat cranky baby who only wants to be held.

when he was a newborn, i didn't mind the sleep deprivation so much. i could nap when he napped. but now, he's almost a year old. he's awake 10 hours during the day, not asleep 10 hours during the day. i also have to go to work.

the sleep regression, the clingy-ness, the trouble eating...it's all catching up to me. i find myself getting very frustrated and weepy, sometimes more than once a day. i have moments where i feel like i'm not cut out for this. it's hard. once the moment passes, the guilt at having those thoughts is even worse.

i needed to do something. i decided to turn to Mary. when antonio is crying about being put in his bed or screaming and refusing to eat, i think to myself "what would Mary do".

Mary is a mother too. she gave birth to our Lord, she raised Him, and she had to watch Him die on a cross to save us. and she did it all without questioning God. she accepted God's call and put her complete trust in Him.

so when i get flustered and feel the exhaustion getting to me, i say a few Hail Marys and ask for her grace. if anyone can help, she can. God gave me antonio in order to raise him to be one of His children. so just as Mary accepted God's call for her, i ask for Mary's intercession to help me live out God's call for me. to get through the tougher moments without doubting. to trust in God completely that this is His plan.

the things we do for our children

2008-04-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

for the past 10 weeks we have been taking antonio to a weekly swim class at our local YMCA. he absolutely loves the water.

the kicker is that it takes us just under 20 minutes to get there, i spend about 20-30 minutes afterwards getting him showered and dressed, and then another 20 minutes to get home. totaling about 70 minutes.

the class is a whopping 30 minutes long.

sometimes i wonder if it's worth it. it seems like such an ordeal for a measly half an hour in the pool. but then we get there and i see his big smile and hear his laugh upon getting into the pool, and it is more than worth it.

it amazes me every day the things we find ourself doing just because we love antonio so much.

the amazing race

2008-04-29T14:35:00.000-07:00

several weeks ago we had to make a last minute trip to el paso. while trying to find tickets that were not outrageously priced, we found some on american airlines. we couldn't believe our luck at finding such a decent price at the last minute. well, unlucky for us we were flying out the day that all their cancellations began for plane inspections. we were supposed to leave tuesday night. we got bumped to wednesday morning. find out wendesday morning our connecting flight in dallas had been canceled. next available flight got us in at 10:00 pm on wednesday. this wasn't some leisurely vacation. we HAD to be in by 6:00 on wednesday. so here we are, 10:00 AM on wednesday, begging the ticketing agent to find ANYTHING. visions of contestants on the amazing race went through my head as we kept telling the lady "earlier, faster, this is very important". we had called my in-laws to see if they found anything online. it was 10:05 when they called back saying they found something that left at 11. the ticketing agent was doubtful that we would make the flight, but we insisted and ran across the airport to the delta counter. we begged for people to let us cut in line so we could check in. but we made the flight! we got terribly confused in the kansas city airport. then we had to run through denver to make our 30 minute layover. but we made it el paso at 5:30 on wednesday. and shortly after we landed they closed the el paso airport secondary to high winds. we really had our guardian angels looking out for us making sure we got there in time.

so claudia, submit the tape. amazing race would be cake.

the best 10 minutes of my day

2008-04-04T07:44:00.001-07:00

are those few minutes after antonio wakes up from a good nap and is perfectly content snuggling with his mami. we just sit in his glider and cuddle and he tells me his dreams. i savor every moment of those 10 minutes because someday, probably sooner than i'd like, antonio will outgrow snuggling with his mami. it's a big world out there and he won't want to spare a minute of exploring it.

Another Breakfast at Tony's

2008-04-03T03:52:00.001-07:00

I was able to enjoy another Breakfast at Tony's this morning. Although it was really early when we got up, Antonio was in a great mood. He accidently poked my back while I was in the middle of a nightmare, causing me to jump at 4am, and of course didn't want to go back to sleep. So we went downstairs and he told me all about his night while I made my breakfast. As we were eating he beckoned Equis over & scracthed his spot & was actually able to get Equis to do his pompi dance (which I believe is Antonio's first time doing so). Although it is only 6:45 in the morning on my bus ride to work & I am already tired (as I am sure Julia is too, since Antonio & I ended up waking her up when I jumped this morning), it was a great way to start the morning.
- Andrés

Travels

2008-03-31T11:45:00.001-07:00

As I am flying to Oklahoma City for work, I have been reading "Undaunted Courage" about Lewis discovering the northwest passage to the Pacific. The mention of some of his travels has really sparked my urge to travel. I am really craving to explore with Julia & Antonio Philadelphia and more of Peru. Maybe soon we'll be able to have some more family adventures.
-Andrés

lack of posts

2008-03-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

what can i say. life happens. maybe we'll get caught up this weekend.

maybe.

rite of passage

2008-03-12T07:21:00.000-07:00

i am officially the proud owner of a new swimsuit where the bottoms are a skirt. more and more i find i do things that really make me feel like a mom.

perspective

2008-03-11T13:51:00.000-07:00

last week was very trying emotionally. a great job opportunity had presented itself to me, but alas, there was another candidate more qualified than myself.

thursday night we received a call that the father of one of our dearest friends was being admitted to hospice. he had been receiving treatment for cancer but had taken a rapid turn for the worst. he found peace only 12 hours after being admitted to hospice. lucy could use your prayers today as she has to bury her father.

we have been excited about the upcoming arrival of the baby of one of our other closest friends. they are pregnant and are due in july. her "big" ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby was last week, her first one. no first trimester ultrasound since she wasn't high risk. it was a bittersweet appointment. though they were blessed and excited to find out they are expecting a little boy, they also found out that she had been pregnant with twins and one had passed at what seems 15 weeks gestational age. i cannot even imagine. to want to feel joy for having a healthy little boy, but also want to mourn for a child that you didn't even know you had. she is being followed by a specialist for the duration of her pregnancy. at a second ultrasound on friday, the specialist said little stuart looks perfect, his words. we are praying for the saints' intercession that in about 20 more weeks, we all get to meet their son, healthy and happy.

after all this, i realized...things aren't so bad if the worst thing for us last week was that i didn't get a job i wanted. so i just thanked the Lord for all our blessings.

9 in, 9 out

2008-03-11T13:44:00.001-07:00

i realized the other day that antonio has been here with us longer than i was pregnant with him.

the past 9 months have passed just as quickly as the 9 months i was pregnant. they have also had times that seem to pass so slowly you wish they were over. yet, when those very moments pass, you miss them.

i am constantly amazed at how much antonio has taught me. i always thought we would be the ones teaching our children, but being a mom has shown me that it's often the opposite. this tiny little baby has taught me about myself, about my husband, about what's really important in life. in 9 months, i've learned more from antonio than i have in the past 27 years.

2008-03-10T09:39:00.000-07:00

i've been tagged

Ten years ago today, i was:
- a senior in high school
- captain of the varsity soccer team
- waiting for college acceptance letters

Five things on my to-do-list today:
1. take antonio to a playgroup at my church
2. wash a load of antonio's laundry
3. start packing for our trip to colorado on wednesday
4. make dinner
5. finish up some paperwork (for a job that i already left!)

Things I would do if I were suddenly a billionaire:
- be a stay at home mom without having to worry
- have another baby now
- pay off the house and our student loans
- give money to the church
- give money to my family so everyone can take a nice vacation
- go to scotland (one of andres and i's dream vacations)

Three of my bad habits:
1. spending money i don't have
2. spending too much time on the internet
3. leaving shoes downstairs

Jobs I’ve had:
1. pediatric physical therapist
2. university gym supervisor
3. assistant secretary at a property management company
4. worked at bath and body works

Five things people don’t know about me:
1. i would love to be an adapted PE teacher someday
2. i have a weird fear of heights/falling off cliffs
3. i really don't like to drive on the interstate at night
4. i love the movie "white chicks" and will watch it whenever it's on. that, and "night at the roxbury"
5. i want a tattoo of antonio's footprint

So, I am going to tag: marisa and christi. I would have tagged my anointed pals, but tara took care of that already. If you have been tagged, it is because I find you interesting, not because I want to annoy you.

Breakfast at Tony's

2008-02-25T11:06:00.000-08:00

This morning when I was done getting ready and was going to go downstairs to eat breakfast and feed the dogs, Antonio woke up and was all smiles to see me. So I brought him downstairs and he kept me company while I made and ate breakfast. It was wonderful having him tell me about his dreams, his thoughts, what the dogs were doing and who knows what else this morning. The he later went back to sleep with Julia when I left to ride my bike to work. I hope this is a habit that Antonio starts doing more often. It definitly made my morning special that he decided to wake up and keep me company.
-Andres

march madness

2008-02-23T10:41:00.000-08:00

my name is julia and i am addicted to buying baby clothes. i am often teased that antonio is my own personal "barbie" doll, and i get to play fashion show. it is not uncommon for him to go through more than 2 outfits day just because i feel like it. he does have a pretty decent closet. and yes, marisa, i can probably tell you every single thing in it. but how can one resist all the teeny little boy outfits?!

well, i must learn how to resist. you know you have a problem when the UPS man comes twice to your house in the same day, and also the fedex man. i actually dreaded opening the last package yesterday. it was like strega nona's pot of spaghetti except it was teeny madras shorts, white linen pants, and hawaiian shirts. baby boy outfits just kept spewing out.

so believe it or not, i have vowed not to buy antonio any clothes at all for the month of march (well, except for one consignment sale i had planned on going to. and even then, i will go with cash and have a limit). you can stop laughing and rolling your eyes now. i know i can do this. it won't be easy for me, but i know i can do it. i should take advantage of the weather and go outside more, not go to the mall. i don't think antonio will mind wearing the same outfit all day long.

slightly worried

2008-02-20T14:59:00.000-08:00

i would not be totally surprised if antonio's first words are "cornflower, no!". poor boy, i'm surprised he doesn't think that's his name.

Eating as a Family

2008-02-19T08:29:00.001-08:00

I love that we have now been eating as a family. Yes, it does take longer, as one of us has to feed Antonio while we eat, but it is worth it. I know I love his company at the table, his silly grins and his sweet laughter.
-Andrés

it's like crack

2008-02-18T12:57:00.001-08:00

Antonio:Gerber banana puffs AS Julia:Zaxby's tater chips

We have some serious addictions here. I may go into withdrawal whenever we move away from Georgia.

growing up too fast

2008-02-16T19:58:00.000-08:00

antonio has gotten his first tooth. and it makes me really sad. more sad than the fact that he's sort of crawling on his belly now. meeting his motor milestones haven't really bothered me this whole time. but there's something about his first tooth. it just makes me sad. no more gummy smiles.

kids, gotta love 'em...

2008-02-12T19:34:00.001-08:00

i have turned in my resignation at my current job. the hours, the drive, the caseload. it's been more than i can handle as a wife and mother. in changing jobs, i hope to spend more time at home with antonio.

it took a while to make the decision to quit because i really do love working with the kids. here's one of the reasons why, a conversation i had with P during his aquatic session.

P: when a grape gets all wrinkly it makes a raisin.

miss julia: that's right! do you know what it's called when a plum gets all wrinkly?

P: yes. a super big raisin.

i'm looking forward to the day when i can have such conversations with my own children. and now that i'll be spending more time at home, i'll make sure not to miss it.

seriously?

2008-02-06T21:52:00.000-08:00

andres and i are in the process of getting our house ready to put on the market. we definitely need to declutter. there are many things that we can put away and live without for a short time. but there are also many with which we cannot.

i'm sitting here watching a show about getting your house ready to sell. you know, one of those shows where they want your home to look like no-one actually lives there. nothing on the kitchen counter, no photos, no toys, no dog beds, no crucifixes. they even put away a baby's booster seat!

i'm sorry, but i have to live in this house. my husband has to live in this house. my son has to live in this house. even the dogs have to live in this house. i will NOT take down the crucifixes. i will NOT put away antonio's booster seat or exersaucer (as space occupying as it may be). i will NOT eat on paper plates for the next few weeks just to keep the kitchen a little cleaner. and if it means making $500 less on the sale of the house, then too bad. i think it's a small price to pay for being able to live in your own home.

mommy moments

2008-02-06T21:24:00.000-08:00

you know you're a mom when...

- you learn the hard way to never wear a white button down shirt to mass on sundays
- you walk around half the morning at work with your shirt on inside out
- you look like you just walked out of coal mine going up to communion on ash wednesday because your son's ashes have rubbed onto your face between his cuddling and squirming
- you SWEAR you know where the YMCA is to sign up for infant swim classes, yet you end up making no less than 4 u-turns along the same road
- you cry when he cries
- you cry when he laughs
- you start to miss him the moment you put him down for bed at night

dear carlos

2008-02-06T21:22:00.001-08:00

i really wish my brother would start a blog. he has the most spectacular "stories", for lack of a better word.

for example, one of his latest is the travels of his cell phone all the way to london...

and back...

without him.

so carlos, if you're reading this, think about it. you'd have at least one avid reader here. :)