a gift

on monday, antonio had his first trip to the ER. during lunch, he flipped over the side of his booster seat and fell 2-3 feet and landed on the hardwood floor. on his head.

naturally, he got very upset and cried a good bit. but he settled down pretty quickly and even went on to finish his lunch. i decided to just watch him for a bit instead of calling the doctor right away. got julia belén down for a nap, and then he and i settled down for his quiet time, which usually involves watching a movie together. about 5 minutes after julia belén fell asleep, i noticed that there was a spot/line on antonio's forehead that was sunken in. this really concerned me, as i would expect it to swell and that he'd have a big goose egg. so off to the ER. some quick thinking to figure out what to do about julia belén. taking her with us was pretty much out of the question as she would be super cranky from being woken up and not having a nap and i really needed to be able to give antonio my full attention. i was unable to reach our friends that live close to us. and it would have taken andres an hour to get home from downtown. i ended up taking julia belén to the daycare provider's house. she would be able to finish her nap and it was on the way to the urgent care center anyways.

after getting head x-rays, any skull fractures were ruled out. huge sigh of relief. we left the doctor with instructions to monitor him and look for signs of a concussion/head injury, including waking him up throughout the night to make sure we could rouse him. antonio has been doing great and is back to his silly self.

in thinking about monday's events, while i foremost gave thanks to God that antonio was okay, i also thanked Him for the experience itself. not that i am happy that antonio hit his head so hard. but thankful for the lessons learned from the day.

you don't have to know me well to know how much i want to be a stay at home mom. i pray for it daily. but sometimes, when the kids are acting up and i don't handle it with as much grace as i should, i worry that maybe i'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom.

being so far from family is also very hard. so many times do i think to myself how it would easier if we had family closeby. like on monday, it would have been a no brainer what to do with julia belén. not having family support nearby can make it seem so much more lonely.

monday was a gift. God gave me monday to help me realize that i would be a great stay at home, even without family living closeby. i got through monday's events with patience, confidence, calm, and grace. i even managed to make dinner, sticking to our original mean plan instead of our standby chicken nuggets or hot dogs.

monday was hectic day where nothing went as planned. my kids needed me more than ever, demanded more of me than on ordinary days. but if i was able to get through monday, giving 100% and not losing my cool and not feeling like i needed a break, then i know i can be a great stay at home mom.

(and yes, antonio has been buckled into his seat since).

small successes, is it friday yet...

1. i finally got back into our weekly menu planning and stuck to it. with all the traveling we did between november and january, it was hard to make a plan and stick to it. i really missed the menu planning. thinking of what to make for dinner on a daily basis was harder than i remembered. having the weekly menu again has been sooo nice.

2. i took the kids to 9:00 Mass last friday morning. being the anniversary of roe v. wade, i really wanted to go to pray for those millions of babies whose lives were taken because of the decision. it was no small feat. i felt sabotaged every step of friday morning. but we made it.

3. i went to work this morning. every shred of me wants to be a stay at home mom, and to say i was unmotivated this morning is an understatement. but i do have a responsibility to fulfill, so i went.

small successes, marathon edition

1. i completed my first half marathon this past saturday!!  hardest. coldest. craziest. stupidest. best. worst. awesome. all words which went through my mind during the long 13.1 miles to describe the experience. i am so blessed to have had the support of my family throughout the whole thing. it wasn't easy, but i did it!

2. we went on a family vacation to disneyworld and had a wonderful time! being so far from family, our vacations usually consist of going to visit. which we love doing, but it was nice to go on a vacation that was just for us. sometimes it's hard for me to step back and sort out the things that really need to get done and the things that don't. but putting our family first this time resulted in an unforgettable trip and we will always cherish the memories.

3. i made my lunch this week and didn't have to pick up fast food somewhere. this is a struggle for me because i get lazy about making my lunch the night before, but those lunches can add up and we are trying to pay off our debt.

i guess i'll eat some worms

while in virginia for our christmas vacation, we went out to dinner with the family to an italian retaurant. part of the appetizer we ordered included fried calamari. upon the plate being brought to the table, antonio begged for some of the calamari. not wanting to discourage him in trying new foods, i gave him a piece. but he insisted on one of the pieces that had the tentacles.

"okay," i thought to myself, "if that's what he wants".

i gave him the calamari. he promptly turned it around with tentacles down, and announced to the table "araña" (spider). but the funniest part was that he then promptly picked it up and took a huge bite, even though he had just told us it was a spider!

later on, when his spaghetti was brought out, he announced that it was "gusanos" (worms). which he devoured.

i wonder what goes through his little mind, thinking that his parents feed him spiders and worms.

1. I have successfully pumped for little Julia Belén for a full year (I know she's not 1 until the 30th, but I'm not counting next week since we're on vacation and there won't be a need to pump). I will be honest, hate is not a strong enough word for how I feel about pumping. Especially this time around since I have no office at my job meant pumping in bathrooms, my car, empty teacher workrooms, constantly worrying that someone would walk in. But it is a sacrifice I'm willing to make for my daughter.

2. I made the decision to stop pumping after Julia Belén turns a year old (so technically, I'm already done since I don't work next week). Pumping has been becoming more and more stressful as I have not been able to keep up with my little jelly belly. I felt a little guilt at first in my decision, but I feel sure that giving up the pump will rekindle my joy in nursing.

3. I did 4-5 loads of laundry this week (I lost count) and there is only 1 left to fold and put away.

1. My family celebrated the marriage of my brother Carlos to his new wife Jenn! It was such a beautiful weekend, filled with such joy. I still get teary remembering hear my brother tell Jenn he loved her up at the altar, and how Jenn's love for my little brother is so strong that she was moved to tears.

2. I finished knitting one of the many Christmas presents that I set out to knit. One down and many to go. But one down!

3. We took down our Halloween decorations within a week of Halloween.

1. I got all the kids' fall clothes out and washed, finally. Poor Julia Belén hasn't had clean pants and we had some chilly mornings. It was past due. (Of course the clothes being clean doesn't necessarily mean that they are put away).

2. Our refrigerator broke yesterday. The day before I told Andres that I thought there was something wrong with it. But of course it waits to officially break (and hence turn our ice cream into soup) until the day Andres leaves to go out of town for a night, and he almost never travels for work. I managed to call someone to come look at it, make the decision that the cost of fixing it was not worth the repair (it is always breaking), and go out and buy a new fridge on my own.

3. Andres went out of town and I actually cooked dinner for the kids. Anyone who knows me well should know that whenever Andres is gone, I order enough take-out to last me the whole time he's gone. I like the break of not having to cook. But since we just came up with a very realistic plan to pay off one of our big credit cards in only 6 months, I really need to stick to our budget.