careful what you wish for

when antonio was born there were moments where i wished he were older and sleeping through the night. but now he is older and sleeping through the night and i'm wishing for those first few days home from the hospital when he was so tiny. we started putting him in his crib in his room over the weekend and i think it's been harder on me than on him. i even slept on the floor of his room the first night. i know he's just across the hall, but after having him sleep by my bedside, and sometimes in my arms in my bed, he seems so far away. he's growing too fast! before i know it he'll be starting his first day of school, leaving for college, getting married and having kids of his own.

i completely understand how some people can have such large families. i went to visit my coworker in the hospital last week as she just had her baby, and it really hit me how much i miss being pregnant and the whole experience of giving birth. there's something about the newness of a newborn. the exhiliration of meeting your child after 10 months of waiting. i don't think there is anything that can replicate that feeling, i don't even know how to describe it. it's such a wonderful feeling and is almost addictive. almost makes me want to start trying to have another one already.