Tuesday, January 15, 2008

on andrew and other musings

i worry. a lot. when antonio was one day old and we were still in the hospital i expressed to antonio's pediatrician my concern over the spontaneous nystagmus that i had noted. at one month, i was googling intention tremors in the newborn. just last weekend i looked for information on infant tongue thrust.

i am a pediatric physical therapist. my job involves motor milestones and movement patterns day in and day out. antonio gets a lot of "therapeutic" play. i have, however, been blessed with a child that is in no hurry. i say blessed because i am slowly learning not to worry quite as much.

did i freak out when antonio wasn't rolling back to front at 4 months? yes.
did i freak out when antonio wasn't sitting independently at 5 months? a bit.
am i freaking out that antonio is not crawling at 7 month? not so much.
will i freak out when he's not walking at 12 months? i really don't think so.

antonio will meet his milestones when he's good and ready. i just have to be more trusting and have faith that everything is fine.

what got me thinking about how antonio's milestone acquisition, though slower than i had hoped, is in fact a gift, was thinking about my nephew. my oldest sister has never been much of a worrier. but my next oldest sister is more like me. or i should say was more like me. she was a worrier. until she had andrew. andrew is the sweetest, most caring little boy. he is also fearless and full of energy. my sister recently told me that one afternoon, he decided to talk like tigger all afternoon. he is 100% boy. he was the perfect gift for my sister. because if he couldn't teach her to worry less, then no one could. i realized how both my sister and i were blessed with the children we were blessed with for a reason.

then i started thinking more about andrew. he really is the sweetest boy i know. his eyes were teary and his voice choked when he sang "you are my sunshine" to my son. he wasn't even 5 yet. but such was his love for his cousin that he's only gotten to see just a few times. so maybe it's not that he just has tons of energy. maybe his heart is just so big in his little body that he is just bursting with love.


Tara said...

Julia - I think you can know too much for your own good. If we lived 100 years ago, we wouldn't have had enough information to worry, you know? I'm glad you're learning not to do it so much.

I'm right there with you, though, worrying about every little thing. With Grace, I think "is she eating too much?" "how do I know if she's getting enough stimulation?" "is she really hungry or is she eating out of (insert mama's projected dilemma here)"

No matter how much we do or don't worry, our kids are going to be just fine. If you can think of a way to beat that into my head, I'll pay you a lot of money. :)

Marisa said...

Juli- this is so beautiful! We love you all very much. Thank you for sharing.