For Lent this year, I decided to give up Facebook. It seemed like am impossible sacrifice, and that I was setting myself up for failure. But I felt like I was being called to do so this year.
I'll be honest, the first few days were tough. I found myself typing in facebook.com without even thinking as soon as I opened by browser. I would stare at the Facebook icon on my phone and have to will myself not to press it. I have had to go on a few times to respond to some emails, but I have managed to pretty much keep to my Lenten sacrifice.
One thing I have learned is that I spend a lot of time on Facebook. A lot. In just the first week of Lent, I have gotten around to several projects around the house that I always claim I just don't have time for. Organizing photos, organizing my pantry, going through old magazines. It's not that I didn't have time for them, I just spent so much time on Facebook.
Do I miss being on Facebook more? Yes, I do. Other the past 5 years, I have formed true friendships with women all around the US. I haven't met many of them in person, but they are friends I hold close to my heart. Facebook is one of the main ways I cultivate these friendships. I miss sharing videos and photos so that our family, the closest being several hundred miles away, can keep up with what the kids are up to.
But I don't miss the drama. I don't miss the politics. I don't miss getting into debates with people I don't know. I'm sure that giving up time on Facebook will not last past Lent. But I hope I remember the lessons I've already learned and spend less time on there than before. It's been good for me, and for my family.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Saturday, August 06, 2011
overheard
if you want to know what sort of day we had, here's a few things you would have overheard be said at our house today:
"the lawnmower just ran of out of gas"
"the coffee spilled over"
"she won't stop screaming" (talking about julia belén, not me)
"did you remember to drop off my library book?" (no)
"do you think it needs stitches?"
"your computer is not ready" (after driving half an hour in traffic to get there when they told me yesterday it would be done)
"you know that will take over an hour to cook" (said at 6:30 about a pork loin we were going to have for dinner)
"the propane tank (for the grill) just ran out"
"i think the cheese is burning"
"will the paper catch on fire?"
"do you need to throw up?"
and we haven't even started baths and bedtime for the kids yet. it is 8:45.
lovely day.
"the lawnmower just ran of out of gas"
"the coffee spilled over"
"she won't stop screaming" (talking about julia belén, not me)
"did you remember to drop off my library book?" (no)
"do you think it needs stitches?"
"your computer is not ready" (after driving half an hour in traffic to get there when they told me yesterday it would be done)
"you know that will take over an hour to cook" (said at 6:30 about a pork loin we were going to have for dinner)
"the propane tank (for the grill) just ran out"
"i think the cheese is burning"
"will the paper catch on fire?"
"do you need to throw up?"
and we haven't even started baths and bedtime for the kids yet. it is 8:45.
lovely day.
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
i watched him fall
antonio is 4 years old. he is not a toddler anymore, he's a little boy. a fact that i have to remind myself of everyday. he's always been on the small side, and he's a little behind in his motor development. the result, i don't push him much when it comes to doing "big boy" things.
my poor son, he has a mother that, when he wants to jump in the pool, she worries about him hitting his head and suffering a spinal cord injury. or that when he is on his new swing set, he'll fall and break a bone or suffer a head injury. yes, i really have these fears every time he's out there. maybe it's that he's my firstborn and i'm overprotective. maybe it's that, as a pediatric physical therapist, day in and day out i've worked with kids to which those sorts of things have happened. most likely, it's a combination of both.
but as antonio keeps growing and making friends with other boys a lot of his friends are girls since "cousin jesse" moved away, until recently), i see how he struggles to keep up with them. he's the only one of his "posse" that wears a floatie at the pool. he doesn't jump on the trampoline. he doesn't take risks.
yesterday, as he played with his friends, he saw them go across the monkey bars in the backyard. i've told him before he's not allowed to go on the monkey bars unless an adult is nearby. but not wanting to be left behind, he climbed on up. i was standing in the kitchen watching, and realized there was no one close to catch him.
instead of running out, i just watched. he grabbed onto the bars and hung for a moment. then he reached for the next rung and got a hold. i was shocked, thinking he had hung on much longer than i would have given him credit for and that he might actually be able to get across. but then one hand slipped, and then the other. down he went.
instead of running out, i just watched. waited. he got up fairly quickly so i figured no broken bones since he wasn't screaming hysterically. as he slowly made his way over, i noticed he was a little teary-eyed. apparently, he got the wind knocked out of him when he fell. but other than that, he was okay.
but as i went to bed last night, i actually cried over what happened. i cried because he fell, and i pretty much let him. i cried because i felt bad for him that he didn't get across. what if i've been wrong this whole time? what if i should have been letting him be a little more daring? i kept having visions of the nerdy kid in the movie "little giants" who wore all the padding. it's not like he was jumping from a fence, over a net, and onto a trampoline. he's just been wanting to do the monkey bars. did he not get across the monkey bars because he's just a bit smaller and a bit younger? or did he not get across because i told him he couldn't? i don't know the answer to that question, but it will definitely have me think twice before i tell him he can't do something.
between antonio and myself, i don't know who learned a bigger lesson. maybe we both did.
my poor son, he has a mother that, when he wants to jump in the pool, she worries about him hitting his head and suffering a spinal cord injury. or that when he is on his new swing set, he'll fall and break a bone or suffer a head injury. yes, i really have these fears every time he's out there. maybe it's that he's my firstborn and i'm overprotective. maybe it's that, as a pediatric physical therapist, day in and day out i've worked with kids to which those sorts of things have happened. most likely, it's a combination of both.
but as antonio keeps growing and making friends with other boys a lot of his friends are girls since "cousin jesse" moved away, until recently), i see how he struggles to keep up with them. he's the only one of his "posse" that wears a floatie at the pool. he doesn't jump on the trampoline. he doesn't take risks.
yesterday, as he played with his friends, he saw them go across the monkey bars in the backyard. i've told him before he's not allowed to go on the monkey bars unless an adult is nearby. but not wanting to be left behind, he climbed on up. i was standing in the kitchen watching, and realized there was no one close to catch him.
instead of running out, i just watched. he grabbed onto the bars and hung for a moment. then he reached for the next rung and got a hold. i was shocked, thinking he had hung on much longer than i would have given him credit for and that he might actually be able to get across. but then one hand slipped, and then the other. down he went.
instead of running out, i just watched. waited. he got up fairly quickly so i figured no broken bones since he wasn't screaming hysterically. as he slowly made his way over, i noticed he was a little teary-eyed. apparently, he got the wind knocked out of him when he fell. but other than that, he was okay.
but as i went to bed last night, i actually cried over what happened. i cried because he fell, and i pretty much let him. i cried because i felt bad for him that he didn't get across. what if i've been wrong this whole time? what if i should have been letting him be a little more daring? i kept having visions of the nerdy kid in the movie "little giants" who wore all the padding. it's not like he was jumping from a fence, over a net, and onto a trampoline. he's just been wanting to do the monkey bars. did he not get across the monkey bars because he's just a bit smaller and a bit younger? or did he not get across because i told him he couldn't? i don't know the answer to that question, but it will definitely have me think twice before i tell him he can't do something.
between antonio and myself, i don't know who learned a bigger lesson. maybe we both did.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Alfajores
I never thought I'd say that I'd have a revelation about my faith while baking. But that's exactly what happened while making alfajores a few weeks ago.
Alfajores are incredibly delicious little Peruvian cookies. They are basically a shortbread type cookie with a cooked caramel type filling. I say "type" as I had to swear not to divulge the contents of this family recipe.
Alfajores are special occasion cookies. I cannot remember a Baptism, First Holy Communion, graduation, Easter, or any other holiday with my family without these little cookies. I sometimes call them a labor of love, as they do require some effort to make. The complete opposite of slice 'n bake cookies so readily available these days. While making my most recent batch, I realized how much one could learn from alfajores and thought I would share my revelations.
The filling.
It takes a few hours to make. And it's not the kind of few hours where you can set it to go and just walk away. This is no slow cooker filling. It requires vigilance to ensure it doesn't burn. Just as our prayer life needs vigilance. We can't just check in on Sundays. We need to be mindful of our thoughts, words, and actions at all times. And there are consequences if we get lazy about it. After the filling has cooked, you still never know for sure what you're gonna get. You only hope that once it's cool, that it's the right consistency. That you won't end up with a runny, goopy mess. But you just have to have faith. As in real life, one has to have faith in those moments where we have trouble seeing God's plan for us. But just follow His recipe, and you will be rewarded.
The cookie.
Firstly, you cannot substitute ingredients or methods. You just can't. I've tried and/or forgotten and the cookie just doesn't come out the right way. It's not the right texture, doesn't have the right taste. It's just not the same. You can't skip praying. You can't skip the Sacraments. As someone who only started praying the Rosary on a regular basis in the past year, I can tell you the days I skip a day are not the same. I can tell the difference.
While mixing the cookie dough, I start second guessing if I've measured stuff correctly. That the recipe just can't be right, it needs more this, or it needs more that. Every time. I've been making these cookies for years and EVERY time I make them I think to myself that it can't be right. How many times in life do you think that to yourself? That this can't be God's plan. That He must be wrong or doesn't know what He's doing. You question and doubt Him. But just in the same way that the cookie dough comes together in an almost magical way, just at the point you want to give up and add more flour, in life, God grants us a little extra grace to help us understand. He grants us wisdom. He grants us peace. Working full time this year has been very, very difficult for me and for my family. We all felt the side effects, consequences, whatever you want to call it. The first half of the year was difficult enough leaving 2 little ones. I absolutely dreaded going back when it was 3 kids after my maternity leave was over in March. Just like the cookies, I couldn't see how it would come together. But my first day back, the Lord gave me such a gift, an opportunity to see why I was needed outside of my home at this point in my life. The students I work with did a presentation showcasing their abilities and how exceptional they truly are, and instead of tears of sadness over missing my own children, I cried tears of joy and gratitude.
So when things get tough, and seem futile, just hang in there a little longer. Stay on His path. Knead the dough a little longer and it will all come together.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
$40 a week
many friends on facebook often post their couponing steals. mounds of food for sometimes only mere pennies. it's very tempting. almost makes me want to give couponing another chance, taking it more seriously this time.
almost.
my attempts at couponing usually resulted in frustration and wasted time. i would spend all this time finding coupons just to find a better deal on a different brand when i got to the store. and for most of the stuff on my grocery list, there were never coupons anyways.
so i quit. don't get me wrong. i don't think there is anything wrong with clipping coupons and i am excited for my friends to save money and find great deals. it's just not for me. i admit, i can get lazy, and clipping coupon just seems like too much work. i'd rather knit or sew in the evenings than clip coupons.
at the same time, i can still feed my family of 4 (technically 5, but martín doesn't eat solids yet) for as little as $40 a week. $40 a week. that's often less than what people spend with all their couponing. and i still manage to avoid most of the prepackaged and highly process foods for which coupons are so often readily available (i say most because i do keep chicken nuggets, hot dogs, and macaroni and cheese on hand in case of "emergencies"). we include a lot of whole foods that are actually often higher in price (like organic yogurt, raw milk, and farm fresh eggs). it's all about restructuring how you eat.
here's how we do it (sometimes i think i could start a whole other blog for this, but these are the basics):
- use cash for groceries. even if you end up going over in the beginning, it really challenges you to stay within the budget.
- plan a menu and write it down. take inventory of what you have in the house and plan your menu based off that. you would probaby be shocked at how much food you actually have in your house.
- cook from scratch. fresh, whole, raw ingredients.
- cook once, eat twice. don't be afraid of leftovers. sometimes we plan to eat leftovers the same week, sometimes i freeze it to eat another time. or plan multiple meals using the same protein as it can save you money(such as when chicken is buy one get one free)
- eat less meat. we sometimes share a large chicken breast between the 4 of us, filling in with extra veggies and grains.
- whole grains. make up for less meat with whole wheat pastas and brown rice. i vowed never to switch to brown rice, but i finally gave in when even my closest ally in my devotion to white rice (my dad) made the switch (except for cuban black beans. it would be blasphemous not to eat those with white rice). quinoa is another great source of protein.
- make more of the basics instead of buying them: bread, jam, waffles, stock, spaghetti sauce, biscuits, tortillas, etc. makes batches of them at one time and freeze/can the excess for future use.
- chicken on the bone. it's always on sale and much more versatile.
- buy in season. we are looking forward to the start of the farmer's market so we can get fresh, local produce for the rest of the summer.
- start a garden. andrés has quite a vegetable garden going. i never have to buy fresh herbs. i haven't had to buy lettuce for our salads this spring. not to mention, the kids LOVE vegetable gardening.
this week i spent $40 on groceries and this is our menu:
garlic chicken with asparagus and toasted quinoa, spinach stuffed shells, chicken enchiladas with avocado-quinoa salad, broccoli pesto pasta, chicken fried rice, and minestrone with a garden salad.
yes, our meals are a little bit more humble than when it was just andres and i. and my son did tell me he was sad that i did not buy donuts this week (i do make donuts but i hate how they make the house smell like a deep fryer so i sometimes get them on clearance). but i am hoping my children are learning the value of getting by with a little less, even if it means having to work a little harder.
almost.
my attempts at couponing usually resulted in frustration and wasted time. i would spend all this time finding coupons just to find a better deal on a different brand when i got to the store. and for most of the stuff on my grocery list, there were never coupons anyways.
so i quit. don't get me wrong. i don't think there is anything wrong with clipping coupons and i am excited for my friends to save money and find great deals. it's just not for me. i admit, i can get lazy, and clipping coupon just seems like too much work. i'd rather knit or sew in the evenings than clip coupons.
at the same time, i can still feed my family of 4 (technically 5, but martín doesn't eat solids yet) for as little as $40 a week. $40 a week. that's often less than what people spend with all their couponing. and i still manage to avoid most of the prepackaged and highly process foods for which coupons are so often readily available (i say most because i do keep chicken nuggets, hot dogs, and macaroni and cheese on hand in case of "emergencies"). we include a lot of whole foods that are actually often higher in price (like organic yogurt, raw milk, and farm fresh eggs). it's all about restructuring how you eat.
here's how we do it (sometimes i think i could start a whole other blog for this, but these are the basics):
- use cash for groceries. even if you end up going over in the beginning, it really challenges you to stay within the budget.
- plan a menu and write it down. take inventory of what you have in the house and plan your menu based off that. you would probaby be shocked at how much food you actually have in your house.
- cook from scratch. fresh, whole, raw ingredients.
- cook once, eat twice. don't be afraid of leftovers. sometimes we plan to eat leftovers the same week, sometimes i freeze it to eat another time. or plan multiple meals using the same protein as it can save you money(such as when chicken is buy one get one free)
- eat less meat. we sometimes share a large chicken breast between the 4 of us, filling in with extra veggies and grains.
- whole grains. make up for less meat with whole wheat pastas and brown rice. i vowed never to switch to brown rice, but i finally gave in when even my closest ally in my devotion to white rice (my dad) made the switch (except for cuban black beans. it would be blasphemous not to eat those with white rice). quinoa is another great source of protein.
- make more of the basics instead of buying them: bread, jam, waffles, stock, spaghetti sauce, biscuits, tortillas, etc. makes batches of them at one time and freeze/can the excess for future use.
- chicken on the bone. it's always on sale and much more versatile.
- buy in season. we are looking forward to the start of the farmer's market so we can get fresh, local produce for the rest of the summer.
- start a garden. andrés has quite a vegetable garden going. i never have to buy fresh herbs. i haven't had to buy lettuce for our salads this spring. not to mention, the kids LOVE vegetable gardening.
this week i spent $40 on groceries and this is our menu:
garlic chicken with asparagus and toasted quinoa, spinach stuffed shells, chicken enchiladas with avocado-quinoa salad, broccoli pesto pasta, chicken fried rice, and minestrone with a garden salad.
yes, our meals are a little bit more humble than when it was just andres and i. and my son did tell me he was sad that i did not buy donuts this week (i do make donuts but i hate how they make the house smell like a deep fryer so i sometimes get them on clearance). but i am hoping my children are learning the value of getting by with a little less, even if it means having to work a little harder.
Sunday, May 01, 2011
peeps be with you
as antonio has gotten older, i've loved watching how he participates more in the Mass.
he sings the alleluia. he kneels during the consecration. he shakes hands with people around us during the sign of peace.
the one part we still struggle with is the liturgy of the word. we cannot get him to sit still. even printing out the www.catholicmom.com coloring page for the week, so that he has a coloring page pertaining to the gospe reading, he prefers to turn over the page and draw rocket ships on the blank side.
until today.
i couldn't believe how well he was paying attention during fr. zahuta's homily. as father spoke about jesus wishing us to find peace within us, antonio sat and listened. i was so proud.
and then, 5 minutes later, antonio turns to andrés with a smile, and asked if fr. zahuta was talking about peeps. as in marshmallow peeps.
he sings the alleluia. he kneels during the consecration. he shakes hands with people around us during the sign of peace.
the one part we still struggle with is the liturgy of the word. we cannot get him to sit still. even printing out the www.catholicmom.com coloring page for the week, so that he has a coloring page pertaining to the gospe reading, he prefers to turn over the page and draw rocket ships on the blank side.
until today.
i couldn't believe how well he was paying attention during fr. zahuta's homily. as father spoke about jesus wishing us to find peace within us, antonio sat and listened. i was so proud.
and then, 5 minutes later, antonio turns to andrés with a smile, and asked if fr. zahuta was talking about peeps. as in marshmallow peeps.
Friday, April 29, 2011
A fairytale wedding
I am not one of those people that have been counting down the days to the royal wedding today. I had no intention to set my alarm for 3 AM to get up and watch it. I just wasn't interested.
Don't get me wrong. I am very happy for the royal couple and wish that they live happily ever after. I just don't need to hear about it.
But I have a confession. I turned on the TV this morning to let the kids watch Curious George while I got things ready to leave for work only to find coverage of the wedding. It was just the tail end of the wedding, watching the couple process out of Westminester Abbey.
I was going to change the channel (Antonio was begging, in fact), but I noticed my sweet little girl sitting next to me on the couch as I nursed the baby, watching every second of it. She didn't miss a thing. Finally, I turned to Julia Belen and said, "she's a real princess". And she just gave a wide-eyed smile.
While I didn't get caught up in the hype over the royal wedding, I am so glad I was able to share those moments with my daughter. And maybe she'll start dreaming of a fairytale wedding of her own.
Don't get me wrong. I am very happy for the royal couple and wish that they live happily ever after. I just don't need to hear about it.
But I have a confession. I turned on the TV this morning to let the kids watch Curious George while I got things ready to leave for work only to find coverage of the wedding. It was just the tail end of the wedding, watching the couple process out of Westminester Abbey.
I was going to change the channel (Antonio was begging, in fact), but I noticed my sweet little girl sitting next to me on the couch as I nursed the baby, watching every second of it. She didn't miss a thing. Finally, I turned to Julia Belen and said, "she's a real princess". And she just gave a wide-eyed smile.
While I didn't get caught up in the hype over the royal wedding, I am so glad I was able to share those moments with my daughter. And maybe she'll start dreaming of a fairytale wedding of her own.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
be consoled
today, i am 38 weeks and 6 days pregnant. tomorrow, i will be 39 weeks pregnant. antonio was born at 38 weeks, 6 days. i went into labor at 39 weeks with julia belén.
i won't lie, i was nervous at this point with the other 2. the unknown of it all. but i felt more "prepared". i felt ready earlier this week, i would have said the same about this baby. but last night, i couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. fear, anxiety, loneliness, exhaustion. so many reasons filled my mind as to why i suddenly panicked at the thought of going into labor.
i feel like some days i struggle to manage my 3.5 and 2 year old. how could i possibly add a newborn to the mix? working full time this year with the 2 kids has been hard enough. how could i possibly go back to work with 3? just the logistics of getting them all out the door on time. i get overwhelmed just thinking about it. how can i handle 3 kids 3 and under with family so far away. the distance only seems to grow further and further with each baby, each illness, each "event". it's hard not to feel lonely and left out.
but then this morning, i was blessed to read the words of our lady of guadalupe. our lady of guadalupe appeared as an aztec princess to the humble juan diego in 1531. today is her feast day:
i won't lie, i was nervous at this point with the other 2. the unknown of it all. but i felt more "prepared". i felt ready earlier this week, i would have said the same about this baby. but last night, i couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face. fear, anxiety, loneliness, exhaustion. so many reasons filled my mind as to why i suddenly panicked at the thought of going into labor.
i feel like some days i struggle to manage my 3.5 and 2 year old. how could i possibly add a newborn to the mix? working full time this year with the 2 kids has been hard enough. how could i possibly go back to work with 3? just the logistics of getting them all out the door on time. i get overwhelmed just thinking about it. how can i handle 3 kids 3 and under with family so far away. the distance only seems to grow further and further with each baby, each illness, each "event". it's hard not to feel lonely and left out.
but then this morning, i was blessed to read the words of our lady of guadalupe. our lady of guadalupe appeared as an aztec princess to the humble juan diego in 1531. today is her feast day:
"Hear and let it penetrate your heart, my dear.
Let nothing discourage you, nothing depress you,
Let nothing alter your heart or your countenance.
Do not fear any illness or vexation, anxiety, or pain.
Am I not here, your Mother?
Are you not under my shadow and protection?
Am I not your fountain of life?
Are you not in the folds of my mantle,
In the crossing of my arms?
Is there anything else that you need?"
tears streamed down my face for a different reason this morning. these words, so very true. really, what else do i need? how can i ask for anything more? look who is on my side!
while we won't get to share arrival of our third child with as many loved ones as we would have liked, we are never alone. these words will be close to my heart for the remainder of my pregnancy (however long/short it might me), labor, and days and years to come.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
(almost) full term Thanksgiving
Tomorrow, on Thanksgiving day, I will be 36 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Just a few days short of being officially full-term. At this point, they won't do anything to stop the baby from coming should I go into labor. Not that there are any signs of that happening, just kind of a crazy thought. With it being so close to our due date, we are staying home for Thanksgiving. Though we will miss our family, we are looking forward to a few quiet and restful days at home with the kids.
But back to the big turkey day. I am hosting dinner at my house this year. You don't have to know me well to know I love to cook, and it's usually from scratch. Which is why I feel a *little* guilty about our Thanksgiving menu. I had to compromise. Fortunately, we have great friends joining us for dinner and will be sharing a lot of the cooking. But what is the almost full term pregnant woman making for dinner? Here's my cheater's menu:
- Turkey: No way around making a turkey. Brine it and roast it. Super easy.
- Orange-cranberry relish: Probably the easiest thing to make on the menu. God bless the food processor.
- Green bean casserole: Yep, the super traditional version where you basically empty cans into a casserole dish. God bless my husband for actually requesting it vs. a more "from scratch" recipe.
- Mashed baked: It was with a heavy heart that I decided mashed potatoes from scratch might be more work than I wanted this year. It just feels wrong not to have them. And a heavy, cholesterol laden, heart is what we'll get with this super yummy Paula Dean recipe with all it's butter, sour cream, cheese, cream cheese, and boxed mashed potato mix goodness.
- Brussel sprouts: The one thing I'm making tomorrow that will require spending some time in the kitchen. But my husband loves them.
- Dinner rolls: Alright, I admit I did make these completely from scratch.
- Apple pie: Homemade filling made from local apples. But, (gasp!), store bought crust.
So there it is. My semi-homemade Thanksgiving menu. In the end, it won't matter how fancy dinner was or how much I "cheated". It's a day about giving thanks for the things we have, counting our blessings, and enjoying the company of good friends and family.
But back to the big turkey day. I am hosting dinner at my house this year. You don't have to know me well to know I love to cook, and it's usually from scratch. Which is why I feel a *little* guilty about our Thanksgiving menu. I had to compromise. Fortunately, we have great friends joining us for dinner and will be sharing a lot of the cooking. But what is the almost full term pregnant woman making for dinner? Here's my cheater's menu:
- Turkey: No way around making a turkey. Brine it and roast it. Super easy.
- Orange-cranberry relish: Probably the easiest thing to make on the menu. God bless the food processor.
- Green bean casserole: Yep, the super traditional version where you basically empty cans into a casserole dish. God bless my husband for actually requesting it vs. a more "from scratch" recipe.
- Mashed baked: It was with a heavy heart that I decided mashed potatoes from scratch might be more work than I wanted this year. It just feels wrong not to have them. And a heavy, cholesterol laden, heart is what we'll get with this super yummy Paula Dean recipe with all it's butter, sour cream, cheese, cream cheese, and boxed mashed potato mix goodness.
- Brussel sprouts: The one thing I'm making tomorrow that will require spending some time in the kitchen. But my husband loves them.
- Dinner rolls: Alright, I admit I did make these completely from scratch.
- Apple pie: Homemade filling made from local apples. But, (gasp!), store bought crust.
So there it is. My semi-homemade Thanksgiving menu. In the end, it won't matter how fancy dinner was or how much I "cheated". It's a day about giving thanks for the things we have, counting our blessings, and enjoying the company of good friends and family.
Monday, November 01, 2010
the great outdoors
we went on a family camping trip with some good friends over columbus day weekend. the site andres found was a hike in campsite. i confess, at 29 weeks pregnant, i was not thrilled about being more than stone's throw from a bathroom. but i was also worried about how the kids would do, how would their short little legs hold up.
little julia belén has always been more of the adventurer. aside from getting tired, i wasn't worried about her being fearful. but my antonio has always been much more timid. shy on the playground, hesitant to go down the slides or on the swings without coaxing. ironic as it is, my son's gross motor skills are not his strong suit.
which is why it was such a delight to see my little trailblazer take on the trails without hesitation. he just hiked right on in, completely ignoring any briars he brushed up against or the roots that created constant trip hazards. it was as if he found his niche. so at ease being out in the great outdoors. not afraid of getting dirty, piling up mounds of dirt to make "cake" and singing happy birthday. using his imagination as he found different ways to play with sticks and rocks. there was no fear, no anxiety. just a little boy being a little boy. adventurous, mischievous, unafraid.
little julia belén has always been more of the adventurer. aside from getting tired, i wasn't worried about her being fearful. but my antonio has always been much more timid. shy on the playground, hesitant to go down the slides or on the swings without coaxing. ironic as it is, my son's gross motor skills are not his strong suit.
which is why it was such a delight to see my little trailblazer take on the trails without hesitation. he just hiked right on in, completely ignoring any briars he brushed up against or the roots that created constant trip hazards. it was as if he found his niche. so at ease being out in the great outdoors. not afraid of getting dirty, piling up mounds of dirt to make "cake" and singing happy birthday. using his imagination as he found different ways to play with sticks and rocks. there was no fear, no anxiety. just a little boy being a little boy. adventurous, mischievous, unafraid.
Friday, September 17, 2010
cravings or His plans?
i'll clear any confusion by starting off saying that i was not injured in a car accident this afternoon. i made it safely home, though quite shaken by the events of the drive.
my friday commute home involves driving on 2 major atlanta highways, 285 and 85. at 2:15ish on a friday, there is a good amount of volume and most cars go well over the 55 mph speed limit. after i left work, i had to run an errand that was actually about 30 minutes in the opposite direction from the house. a kind friend is letting us borrow some great baby gear and i had promised i would pick it up today. while on the way to her house, i decided that i absolutely had to have a frosty float. i just had to. so after picking up the gear, i went through the drive thru at the next wendy's i passed, happy to have my craving satisfied.
so i'm driving along 285. the radio is on, but i'm not on the phone. just looking forward to picking up the kids for our new tradition of "froyo fridays". about 2 miles from spaghetti junction (a huge interchange where i would have switched highways), i suddenly noticed 2 cars driving erratically. and very close to each other. at first i thought it was just a near accident. maybe one car had almost merged into the other. but as i slowed a little and continued to watch, i noticed the green SUV was purposely chasing the white sedan. reckless and aggressive are understatements in describing what i was witnessing. by this point, i had just stopped. so had the rest of traffic around me, as we all watched and waited for the chase to end. one or both cars would inevitably crash and be forced to stop.
that was only half the case. the green SUV did succeed in hitting the white sedan, causing the sedan to spin. but i noticed that neither car was stopping. it was at this point i started to panic. after all, they weren't very far in front of me. less than 50 yards. i just kept repeating "please stop, please stop, make it stop".
but it didn't. the white sedan got control and apparently decided its best chance for escape was to drive in the opposite direction on the highway.
right. towards. me.
the 2 cars were literally driving at me head on in my lane. i looked to my right, there was a huge blue and yellow semi in the lane next to me. i looked to my left, more cars and not much room. so there i was, a sitting duck with 2 cars coming straight at me. i'm full out sobbing by now, holding my almost 27 week pregnant belly, crying, "no, no, please no". the white sedan's rear bumper flew off the back of his car with less than 10 yards to go. i'm watching the man driving the car: a grown man, white shirt, mustache, gray hair. there were others in the car but i didn't look past the driver. i wonder if they saw the panic and fear in my face amidst my tears. at what seemed like the last moment, he swerved to my left and both cars passed me and continued in the opposite direction.
i don't know how and when i started driving again, but there was an off ramp less than a quarter mile from where i had been stopped. even as i was on the ramp, i saw the white car go zooming past in the right direction on the highway. i didn't wait to look for the green car. i pulled into a gas station at the top of the ramp and there i sat, shaking and crying, terrified to drive any further. what if the chase continued? what if i came across them again? no less than 4 police cars went zooming past and got on 285 from the very exit at which i had parked.
after about 45 minutes, i summed up the courage to just go home. it was probably the longest drive home ever. i struggled not to vomit. i felt my neck and back tensing, knowing i would be sore by the evening. when i finally made it the daycare provider's house, i again broke into tears as antonio and julia belén wrapped their little arms around me. her house is less than 2 miles from mine, and no interstate driving required. it was a short drive to the house from there, and i was never happier to make it home.
it's been a long afternoon and evening as i try not to rehash and relive the events of the drive home. easier said than done. all the "what ifs" racing through my mind:
- what if andres and the kids had been in the car...
- what if i had not gone to pick up the stuff...
- what if had tried to change lanes to my left at the last minute...
- what if i had written one more e-mail before leaving work...
- what if i had not gotten a little lost on the way to pick up the baby gear...
- what if i had not stopped to fulfill my pregnancy craving...
- what if...
could doing/not doing any one of these things have been what saved me and the baby from a far worse outcome? as i try to move past what happened today (without developing a crippling fear of driving on the interstate), i tell myself God knew what He was doing. it was His grace alone that protected us today. i have no doubt. every single "what if" that i can come up with doesn't matter, because God was on top of things. there are no "what ifs", there are just God's plans.
and apparently, He even has plans that include frosty floats.
my friday commute home involves driving on 2 major atlanta highways, 285 and 85. at 2:15ish on a friday, there is a good amount of volume and most cars go well over the 55 mph speed limit. after i left work, i had to run an errand that was actually about 30 minutes in the opposite direction from the house. a kind friend is letting us borrow some great baby gear and i had promised i would pick it up today. while on the way to her house, i decided that i absolutely had to have a frosty float. i just had to. so after picking up the gear, i went through the drive thru at the next wendy's i passed, happy to have my craving satisfied.
so i'm driving along 285. the radio is on, but i'm not on the phone. just looking forward to picking up the kids for our new tradition of "froyo fridays". about 2 miles from spaghetti junction (a huge interchange where i would have switched highways), i suddenly noticed 2 cars driving erratically. and very close to each other. at first i thought it was just a near accident. maybe one car had almost merged into the other. but as i slowed a little and continued to watch, i noticed the green SUV was purposely chasing the white sedan. reckless and aggressive are understatements in describing what i was witnessing. by this point, i had just stopped. so had the rest of traffic around me, as we all watched and waited for the chase to end. one or both cars would inevitably crash and be forced to stop.
that was only half the case. the green SUV did succeed in hitting the white sedan, causing the sedan to spin. but i noticed that neither car was stopping. it was at this point i started to panic. after all, they weren't very far in front of me. less than 50 yards. i just kept repeating "please stop, please stop, make it stop".
but it didn't. the white sedan got control and apparently decided its best chance for escape was to drive in the opposite direction on the highway.
right. towards. me.
the 2 cars were literally driving at me head on in my lane. i looked to my right, there was a huge blue and yellow semi in the lane next to me. i looked to my left, more cars and not much room. so there i was, a sitting duck with 2 cars coming straight at me. i'm full out sobbing by now, holding my almost 27 week pregnant belly, crying, "no, no, please no". the white sedan's rear bumper flew off the back of his car with less than 10 yards to go. i'm watching the man driving the car: a grown man, white shirt, mustache, gray hair. there were others in the car but i didn't look past the driver. i wonder if they saw the panic and fear in my face amidst my tears. at what seemed like the last moment, he swerved to my left and both cars passed me and continued in the opposite direction.
i don't know how and when i started driving again, but there was an off ramp less than a quarter mile from where i had been stopped. even as i was on the ramp, i saw the white car go zooming past in the right direction on the highway. i didn't wait to look for the green car. i pulled into a gas station at the top of the ramp and there i sat, shaking and crying, terrified to drive any further. what if the chase continued? what if i came across them again? no less than 4 police cars went zooming past and got on 285 from the very exit at which i had parked.
after about 45 minutes, i summed up the courage to just go home. it was probably the longest drive home ever. i struggled not to vomit. i felt my neck and back tensing, knowing i would be sore by the evening. when i finally made it the daycare provider's house, i again broke into tears as antonio and julia belén wrapped their little arms around me. her house is less than 2 miles from mine, and no interstate driving required. it was a short drive to the house from there, and i was never happier to make it home.
it's been a long afternoon and evening as i try not to rehash and relive the events of the drive home. easier said than done. all the "what ifs" racing through my mind:
- what if andres and the kids had been in the car...
- what if i had not gone to pick up the stuff...
- what if had tried to change lanes to my left at the last minute...
- what if i had written one more e-mail before leaving work...
- what if i had not gotten a little lost on the way to pick up the baby gear...
- what if i had not stopped to fulfill my pregnancy craving...
- what if...
could doing/not doing any one of these things have been what saved me and the baby from a far worse outcome? as i try to move past what happened today (without developing a crippling fear of driving on the interstate), i tell myself God knew what He was doing. it was His grace alone that protected us today. i have no doubt. every single "what if" that i can come up with doesn't matter, because God was on top of things. there are no "what ifs", there are just God's plans.
and apparently, He even has plans that include frosty floats.
Friday, September 10, 2010
end of summer
between the world cup and all our travels, the summer quickly flew by. i tried to make the most of this summer and really just enjoy spending time with the kids as i knew at the end of the summer i would be going back to work full time.
we had a great summer.
we went to the fountains, spent time time at the library, played in the sprinklers in the backyard. not to mention some fun trips to visit family. my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary in june. us kids organized a wonderful brunch to honor their love and celebrate together. 40 years. the best gift my parents could ever have given me is their example, their love for each other all these years. it's a gift that keeps on giving and helps me in my marriage and family daily. of course the kids were just delighted to celebrate and spend time with all their little cousins and their abuelos. and talk about finding a silver lining, we got to spend an extra couple days visiting thanks to julia belen suffering a slight concussion a few hours before we were supposed to leave for the airport. it was very scary, and the 2 trips to the ER and the CT scan were no fun, but antonio certainly didn't complain about the extra time with abuelo and abuela. and in the end, julia belen was fine. and almost just as soon as we got back from DC, we were off again. this time to colorado to visit the other abuelos. we had a wonderful week out in denver and delighted in meeting the kids' newest little cousin. even extended family were able to make the drive/flight from el paso and LA to come visit. it was a week full of visiting the mountains, going swimming, going to the zoo. we all had a lot of fun and were sad to come home.
but good things often come to an end. and so came the end of summer. i like to think back that we kept it focused on the family. this is a big year for us: new job for me, new baby, potentially a move if we can sell our house. i wanted this summer to be about family and the stability of it. i don't know how much the kids will remember about this summer. but i will hold so much of it in my heart forever.
we had a great summer.
we went to the fountains, spent time time at the library, played in the sprinklers in the backyard. not to mention some fun trips to visit family. my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary in june. us kids organized a wonderful brunch to honor their love and celebrate together. 40 years. the best gift my parents could ever have given me is their example, their love for each other all these years. it's a gift that keeps on giving and helps me in my marriage and family daily. of course the kids were just delighted to celebrate and spend time with all their little cousins and their abuelos. and talk about finding a silver lining, we got to spend an extra couple days visiting thanks to julia belen suffering a slight concussion a few hours before we were supposed to leave for the airport. it was very scary, and the 2 trips to the ER and the CT scan were no fun, but antonio certainly didn't complain about the extra time with abuelo and abuela. and in the end, julia belen was fine. and almost just as soon as we got back from DC, we were off again. this time to colorado to visit the other abuelos. we had a wonderful week out in denver and delighted in meeting the kids' newest little cousin. even extended family were able to make the drive/flight from el paso and LA to come visit. it was a week full of visiting the mountains, going swimming, going to the zoo. we all had a lot of fun and were sad to come home.
but good things often come to an end. and so came the end of summer. i like to think back that we kept it focused on the family. this is a big year for us: new job for me, new baby, potentially a move if we can sell our house. i wanted this summer to be about family and the stability of it. i don't know how much the kids will remember about this summer. but i will hold so much of it in my heart forever.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
World Cup menu - June 23
Wednesday - USA!: meatloaf and homemade mashed potatoes
Thursday - Italy: spaghetti with meat sauce
Friday - Spain: (leftover) gazpacho, tortilla española
Trying to keep it easy this week. We had an interesting return trip to DC, involving Julia Belén suffering a concussion on Monday and getting a head CT on her second trip to the ER (will post about it later), and super delayed 9 PM flight on Tuesday. Low key is the theme.
Thursday - Italy: spaghetti with meat sauce
Friday - Spain: (leftover) gazpacho, tortilla española
Trying to keep it easy this week. We had an interesting return trip to DC, involving Julia Belén suffering a concussion on Monday and getting a head CT on her second trip to the ER (will post about it later), and super delayed 9 PM flight on Tuesday. Low key is the theme.
why i cry
the USA vs. algeria world cup game today literally brought me to tears. as the clock went into stoppage time, i could feel tears welling up knowing that the US would not advance to the second round. just 60 seconds later, tears of sadness turned into tears of joy as landon donovan scored in the 91st minute, winning the game for the USA and winning our group, the first time since 1930.
while i can get really into sports, i don't cry over NCAA football. not even over the redskins (though that might be because i'm just numb when it comes to them now). i admit i get emotional over the olympics sometimes, but i don't cry if the US doesn't win.
but the world cup is not just any sporting event. it's way more than just soccer. what many people don't realize is that the world cup really takes place over the course of 3 years. what is broadcasted all over the world for about a month of the summer every 4 years is just a small part of it. our boys have been busting their butts for the past 3 years just to even qualify for this final stage of this year's world cup. they have to fight just to get a spot on the national team, and always while playing with their club teams at the same time.
let's face it, soccer doesn't have a huge following in the US like it does around the world (i have my own thoughts on that for another post some day). we fight to qualify for the world cup and when we do, we're still the underdogs. no one really takes the US seriously. people don't expect us to advance to the second round, and when we do, people expect it to be in second place. our team just doesn't get the respect it deserves.
so to watch our guys fight throughout today's game, not giving up and winning it in stoppage time, it just made me so proud of them and happy for them. they deserved the win. they earned the win. they put their all into that game, and the fact that we came out on top shows it.
and that's why i cry.
while i can get really into sports, i don't cry over NCAA football. not even over the redskins (though that might be because i'm just numb when it comes to them now). i admit i get emotional over the olympics sometimes, but i don't cry if the US doesn't win.
but the world cup is not just any sporting event. it's way more than just soccer. what many people don't realize is that the world cup really takes place over the course of 3 years. what is broadcasted all over the world for about a month of the summer every 4 years is just a small part of it. our boys have been busting their butts for the past 3 years just to even qualify for this final stage of this year's world cup. they have to fight just to get a spot on the national team, and always while playing with their club teams at the same time.
let's face it, soccer doesn't have a huge following in the US like it does around the world (i have my own thoughts on that for another post some day). we fight to qualify for the world cup and when we do, we're still the underdogs. no one really takes the US seriously. people don't expect us to advance to the second round, and when we do, people expect it to be in second place. our team just doesn't get the respect it deserves.
so to watch our guys fight throughout today's game, not giving up and winning it in stoppage time, it just made me so proud of them and happy for them. they deserved the win. they earned the win. they put their all into that game, and the fact that we came out on top shows it.
and that's why i cry.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Spain vs Switzerland
On wednesday Julia made a Spanish themed dinner in honor of the Spain vs Switzerland game. A great tasting Gaspacho, Grilled Asparagus (from the farmers market) with Lemon Basil (from the garden) and Pollo al Ajillo.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Japan vs Cameroon Dinner
Julia Belén even ate sushi (vegetable only roll)! though Julia accidentally gave her some avocado from one of the spicy shrimp rolls and it was a tad too spicy for her. She just kept sticking her tongue out not knowing what had happened!Sunday, June 13, 2010
World Cup menu - June 13
In honor of the greatest sporting event in the world, our dinners for about the next month will be a culinary journey around the world. I am going to attempt making dishes native to a country playing on a given day. I'm very excited about this "project" and getting to try new foods/recipes.
So here's our menu for the first week, starting June 13 (only goes through Wednesday because we are visiting DC this weekend in honor of my parents' 40th wedding annivesary!)
Sunday - Algeria: Algerian chicken, saffron couscous with raisins and mint
Monday - Japan: sushi, vegetable tempura, daikon radish and cucumber salad
Tuesday - Brazil: feijoada with rice, fried yucca (really hoping to find manioc to make farofa)
Wednesday - Spain: gazpacho, pollo al ajillo, grilled asparagus
Let the games and cooking begin!
So here's our menu for the first week, starting June 13 (only goes through Wednesday because we are visiting DC this weekend in honor of my parents' 40th wedding annivesary!)
Sunday - Algeria: Algerian chicken, saffron couscous with raisins and mint
Monday - Japan: sushi, vegetable tempura, daikon radish and cucumber salad
Tuesday - Brazil: feijoada with rice, fried yucca (really hoping to find manioc to make farofa)
Wednesday - Spain: gazpacho, pollo al ajillo, grilled asparagus
Let the games and cooking begin!
Monday, March 01, 2010
rite of passage?
mondays are usually quiet days around here. i use it as a day to just spend time with the kids, catch up on laundry, get some cleaning done, get myself ready for my work week starting tuesday. being quiet days, i don't usually make much effort in getting ready. jeans, sweatshirt, glasses, no make-up.
today i made a little more effort. we had some errands to run this morning. i was actually pretty proud of myself. put in my contacts, put on make-up, picked out what i thought was a kind of cute/put together outfit.
i ran my errands with confidence, happy feeling that i didn't look like the stereotypical mom. that i looked more like a put-together mom that i often see out and about and wonder how they pull it off. the kids were great, we were efficient with our errands, and it was a happy morning overall.
then i got home and realized my shoes didn't match. they weren't even the same color.
who looks like a frazzled mom now?
today i made a little more effort. we had some errands to run this morning. i was actually pretty proud of myself. put in my contacts, put on make-up, picked out what i thought was a kind of cute/put together outfit.
i ran my errands with confidence, happy feeling that i didn't look like the stereotypical mom. that i looked more like a put-together mom that i often see out and about and wonder how they pull it off. the kids were great, we were efficient with our errands, and it was a happy morning overall.
then i got home and realized my shoes didn't match. they weren't even the same color.
who looks like a frazzled mom now?
Friday, February 26, 2010
a gift
on monday, antonio had his first trip to the ER. during lunch, he flipped over the side of his booster seat and fell 2-3 feet and landed on the hardwood floor. on his head.
naturally, he got very upset and cried a good bit. but he settled down pretty quickly and even went on to finish his lunch. i decided to just watch him for a bit instead of calling the doctor right away. got julia belén down for a nap, and then he and i settled down for his quiet time, which usually involves watching a movie together. about 5 minutes after julia belén fell asleep, i noticed that there was a spot/line on antonio's forehead that was sunken in. this really concerned me, as i would expect it to swell and that he'd have a big goose egg. so off to the ER. some quick thinking to figure out what to do about julia belén. taking her with us was pretty much out of the question as she would be super cranky from being woken up and not having a nap and i really needed to be able to give antonio my full attention. i was unable to reach our friends that live close to us. and it would have taken andres an hour to get home from downtown. i ended up taking julia belén to the daycare provider's house. she would be able to finish her nap and it was on the way to the urgent care center anyways.
after getting head x-rays, any skull fractures were ruled out. huge sigh of relief. we left the doctor with instructions to monitor him and look for signs of a concussion/head injury, including waking him up throughout the night to make sure we could rouse him. antonio has been doing great and is back to his silly self.
in thinking about monday's events, while i foremost gave thanks to God that antonio was okay, i also thanked Him for the experience itself. not that i am happy that antonio hit his head so hard. but thankful for the lessons learned from the day.
you don't have to know me well to know how much i want to be a stay at home mom. i pray for it daily. but sometimes, when the kids are acting up and i don't handle it with as much grace as i should, i worry that maybe i'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom.
being so far from family is also very hard. so many times do i think to myself how it would easier if we had family closeby. like on monday, it would have been a no brainer what to do with julia belén. not having family support nearby can make it seem so much more lonely.
monday was a gift. God gave me monday to help me realize that i would be a great stay at home, even without family living closeby. i got through monday's events with patience, confidence, calm, and grace. i even managed to make dinner, sticking to our original mean plan instead of our standby chicken nuggets or hot dogs.
monday was hectic day where nothing went as planned. my kids needed me more than ever, demanded more of me than on ordinary days. but if i was able to get through monday, giving 100% and not losing my cool and not feeling like i needed a break, then i know i can be a great stay at home mom.
(and yes, antonio has been buckled into his seat since).
naturally, he got very upset and cried a good bit. but he settled down pretty quickly and even went on to finish his lunch. i decided to just watch him for a bit instead of calling the doctor right away. got julia belén down for a nap, and then he and i settled down for his quiet time, which usually involves watching a movie together. about 5 minutes after julia belén fell asleep, i noticed that there was a spot/line on antonio's forehead that was sunken in. this really concerned me, as i would expect it to swell and that he'd have a big goose egg. so off to the ER. some quick thinking to figure out what to do about julia belén. taking her with us was pretty much out of the question as she would be super cranky from being woken up and not having a nap and i really needed to be able to give antonio my full attention. i was unable to reach our friends that live close to us. and it would have taken andres an hour to get home from downtown. i ended up taking julia belén to the daycare provider's house. she would be able to finish her nap and it was on the way to the urgent care center anyways.
after getting head x-rays, any skull fractures were ruled out. huge sigh of relief. we left the doctor with instructions to monitor him and look for signs of a concussion/head injury, including waking him up throughout the night to make sure we could rouse him. antonio has been doing great and is back to his silly self.
in thinking about monday's events, while i foremost gave thanks to God that antonio was okay, i also thanked Him for the experience itself. not that i am happy that antonio hit his head so hard. but thankful for the lessons learned from the day.
you don't have to know me well to know how much i want to be a stay at home mom. i pray for it daily. but sometimes, when the kids are acting up and i don't handle it with as much grace as i should, i worry that maybe i'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom.
being so far from family is also very hard. so many times do i think to myself how it would easier if we had family closeby. like on monday, it would have been a no brainer what to do with julia belén. not having family support nearby can make it seem so much more lonely.
monday was a gift. God gave me monday to help me realize that i would be a great stay at home, even without family living closeby. i got through monday's events with patience, confidence, calm, and grace. i even managed to make dinner, sticking to our original mean plan instead of our standby chicken nuggets or hot dogs.
monday was hectic day where nothing went as planned. my kids needed me more than ever, demanded more of me than on ordinary days. but if i was able to get through monday, giving 100% and not losing my cool and not feeling like i needed a break, then i know i can be a great stay at home mom.
(and yes, antonio has been buckled into his seat since).
Thursday, January 28, 2010
small successes, is it friday yet...
1. i finally got back into our weekly menu planning and stuck to it. with all the traveling we did between november and january, it was hard to make a plan and stick to it. i really missed the menu planning. thinking of what to make for dinner on a daily basis was harder than i remembered. having the weekly menu again has been sooo nice.
2. i took the kids to 9:00 Mass last friday morning. being the anniversary of roe v. wade, i really wanted to go to pray for those millions of babies whose lives were taken because of the decision. it was no small feat. i felt sabotaged every step of friday morning. but we made it.
3. i went to work this morning. every shred of me wants to be a stay at home mom, and to say i was unmotivated this morning is an understatement. but i do have a responsibility to fulfill, so i went.
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